Why are you here?

Hello,I’m the therapist ,what is wrong?
Hang on, let’s not jump the gun
Ah, a cliche!Well, carry on.What actually is wrong with you?
I don’t know if wrong is the right word
I reckoned you must be desperate to see a new client during Lockdown.I am doing you a favour.
Why did  you phone?
Stamps are too expensive for me
Look, are you pulling my leg?
I didn’t know  it was yours
Is being too literal  a good thing?
Well the ” too” implies it is not
My, you seem very intelligent for an ordinary person
But obviously  that is not enough
What for?
Finding myself a new partner
Is that why you are here?
No,I’m  not that desperate.
That is insulting
But offering yourself  is immoral,And you  must imagine you are very good looking
You misunderstood me.I meant did you want to talk about it?
Well we are talking about it
Give me more facts.How many partners have you had so far?
Thirty seven I do believe
Well, why do you need help? You could help me
I don’t want to have had a  prime number of  partners.Forty  is a  number I like better
Well, why?
It is 2 cubed times 5
But  the numbers don’t matter,  it’s the people
I wish I’d stopped at 8.It was that five that made life so hard
People want love not to be part  of some   weird number theory
Can you prove that?
What counts as proof? Some people need more  evidence than others
Now you  have caught it……” counts”
Surely madness is not infectious
Has anyone  got data on that ?
Only someone as daft as you would ask
Why call me daft?I think it’s rude
It’s kinder than crackers
I love crackers
But  you can’t marry them
But  you can  marry someone who is crackers
Or has crackers?
Well where is this  leading?
There’s only one  place we can’t go to
Where’s that?
The Mental Hospital.It’s been closed to the public  in order to deal with  the government
Good luck. Give them  all largactil and teach them to crochet
I wonder why crochet  is good for  mad people?
It’s for the nurses actually.They need something to do with their hands
I’ve never  been told that beforeWhat about the doctors?
They knit sweaters for sailors
On the NHS?
No, on circular knitting needles
Well, I really enjoyed meeting you.I love your eyes
Oh,I am going red!
It suits you.
Will you come again?
I’ll have to ask the Vicar
Don’t make it Oedipal
Yerwhat?
Speak English or die

4 thoughts on “Why are you here?

  1. Thank you Katherine for this venture into the stream of consciosness of someone who may or may not be you. but seems to be reprsentative of people who wonder about things but are not in this poem plagued by deep existential should I go on or call it a day issues..Pleasant people with active minds. I hope you are taking care to stay safe. They are saying here that all this mess will go on for another two years and that at least 100, 000 will perish here, So far Diana and I are well and all my four echidren and ten grandchaildren are safe,

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you,David.I find writing these makes me lsugh.I was also hinting that when we talk to someone they may not grasp what we intend them to.Sometimes people take things literally.I am also intrigued by what will come into my mind.
    I’ve not been able to go out for several weeks but am getting groveries and talking to people on the phone
    The weather is not good.But when it was better I sat in the garden.When someone brought a cake she made she saw a wren and a robin in my front garden.I have big shrubs so they are nesting
    I am being very careful.My Doctor was worried about me but I have told him about my writing and how I have some friends in other countries who write to me and read my blog so he was happy to know that
    Without all that I would have been devastated by what has happened to me in the last few years
    I wish more people would try to write or draw etc but people are so anxious they wll write rubbish they prefer not to try
    Glad ro know your family are all well and I hope you will be able to see them soon.It’s going take time after lockdown for us to risk meeting others.I realise now we don’t know how long we will live and wonder how to make the most of my time
    I do things fo r my neighbours like when their key won’t turn in the lock [ my ” magic hands” as they put it]
    In one case a new lock was put in upside down, for example.So the key turned the other way
    I suppose being a mathematician I am used to looking for different ways to solve problems.My husband was annoyed when I knew who the vlllain was in 5 minutes after a movie began.Is t my fault God made me so brilliant?
    Sending real love and virtual hugs to you and Diana.I hope wll wll be well

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  3. Dear Katherine,
    I love your picture. I’ve decided you’re an extremely creative person. You make me laugh and you make me reflect and make me sad at times. I too am interested in how people interpret things. Of course writers have to do that, very well if they hope to be good.

    You’re lucky you have a garden to sit in., and nesting birds

    I’m sorry you have had such sadness and problems the last few years. I wish you hadn’t. I’m grateful my pains of recent times and earlier years are gone. I think you are a healthy woman.

    We send our love and good wishes to you too dear Katherine.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. .Thank you,David I am vdry relieved your pain is better.I am glad I was able to care for my husband despite it making me ill.I am lucky that I can write etc
      as it gives me structure.This photo interests me because I can’t imagine how I took it and because of the concentration on my face.I can’t believe it’s me.As ever love to you both,Katherine
      I have let the garden go wild!!

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