Hello,I’m the therapist ,what is wrong?
Hang on, let’s not jump the gun
Ah, a cliche!Well, carry on.What actually is wrong with you?
I don’t know if wrong is the right word
I reckoned you must be desperate to see a new client during Lockdown.I am doing you a favour.
Why did  you phone?
Stamps are too expensive for me
Look, are you pulling my leg?
I didn’t know  it was yours
Is being too literal  a good thing?
Well the ” too” implies it is not
My, you seem very intelligent for an ordinary person
But obviously  that is not enough
What for?
Finding myself a new partner
Is that why you are here?
No,I’m  not that desperate.
That is insulting
But offering yourself  is immoral,And you  must imagine you are very good looking
You misunderstood me.I meant did you want to talk about it?
Well we are talking about it
Give me more facts.How many partners have you had so far?
Thirty seven I do believe
Well, why do you need help? You could help me
I don’t want to have had a  prime number of  partners.Forty  is a  number I like better
Well, why?
It is 2 cubed times 5
But  the numbers don’t matter,  it’s the people
I wish I’d stopped at 8.It was that five that made life so hard
People want love not to be part  of some   weird number theory
Can you prove that?
What counts as proof? Some people need more  evidence than others
Now you  have caught it……” counts”
Surely madness is not infectious
Has anyone  got data on that ?
Only someone as daft as you would ask
Why call me daft?I think it’s rude
It’s kinder than crackers
I love crackers
But  you can’t marry them
But  you can  marry someone who is crackers
Or has crackers?
Well where is this  leading?
There’s only one  place we can’t go to
Where’s that?
The Mental Hospital.It’s been closed to the public  in order to deal with  the government
Good luck. Give them  all largactil and teach them to crochet
I wonder why crochet  is good for  mad people?
It’s for the nurses actually.They need something to do with their hands
I’ve never  been told that beforeWhat about the doctors?
They knit sweaters for sailors
On the NHS?
No, on circular knitting needles
Well, I really enjoyed meeting you.I love your eyes
Oh,I am going red!
It suits you.
Will you come again?
I’ll have to ask the Vicar
Don’t make it Oedipal
Yerwhat?
Speak English or die

God’s Revelation to Elijah

¹¹ Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; ¹² and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire ^[a]a still small voice.

¹³ So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him, and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”