People envy you your nouns

I thought I’d make a few new laws
Never let cats cut  their  claws
Never eat with fork and knife
Until you are  both man and wife
Lick the plate when you’re a guest
Washing up is such a pest
Lay the  table, heat the plates
All these things ingratiate
Don’t say the sky is very clear
The lost  pollution brings on fear
If you panic, never mind
You could be either dead or blind.
See it from a different place
Perspective’s fine when well embraced
Never drink  coffee  to  keep awake
It can make  the chilblains ache
Do your thumbs split near the nail?
Mine have done and I am pale
O woe  is me,I cannot read
My mind is churning at great speed
Never let things get you down
People envy you your nouns