Lavatory humor

He wanted to behave  very  politely

But there wasn’t a toilet in sight

So he used a car bumper

Offside,that’ll  stumper.

Alas he was in Hackney that night.

 

Why did they shut our conveniences?

It’s alright in a departmental store.

But when that is closed

We have to suppose

The options are the wall or the floor.

 

Living in a city isn’t easy

In the Pennines you can wee on the moors.

A drystone wall’s dandy

For women, it’s handy.

As long as you’re not Pussy Galore.

 

When driving on a long journey,

It’s trying when companions nag.

I’ve had UTI’s

Which take me by surprise.

I  need a bucket and not a handbag.

 

We all must live with  anxiety

But shutting down toilets is  bad.

When we feel shy

We want to stay dry.

Sometimes it makes  folk go mad.

 

Some forms  of angst must be dealt with

But some are created by fools.

We ought to have a Pee In

As log as we agree on

How we can hide our bare tools.

 

We’ll meet at the gates across THAT street

And pass water when I ring a bell.

We’d make the TV news

And  viewers send reviews

If we never try how can we tell?