Watching televisions is not hard
They can’t walk.
Talk ok and take your views
Of the News.
Flat ones can’t have a plant on top
alongside the wooden birds
I preferred
As I say,I keep my eye on it.
Watch it secretly when no-one is here
Or near
I’m waiting for it to speak its real words.
Or to ask me a question.
Who are you?
Why do you watch me?
Have you no shame?
If a television could speak
We wouldn’t be able to understand what’s sad about it.
Look at this
I don’t like this new word cachexic
It has more than a hint of the toxic
Yet is Greek
So we must speak
And practise until we all rock ,chick.
I am the opposite of what I once was
I think I’ve been washed in some Daz.
I’m so pale I’m translucent
But not yet indecent.
I’m grateful for all that me has.
Cachelocks are a new type of safe.
You put your laptop in a brace.
Then you swear and you curse
And rattle a hearse.
I suggest then to hide that red face
Cachelicks are followers of God
Who forgot how to spell, as they trod
Grapes and wild cherries
And other black berries.
And for them it was a sin to say,Sod.
Catlicks was a term of abuse
To us children who walked from our house.
It was Belfast in miniature…
No bagpipes in the furniture.
I sometimes felt like a black louse.
For I had a friend who was Other.
They were Methodists from near the river.
So I had to hide my religion
From even their pigeon.
I felt all the time in a state or a dither.
For I did not know what would deceive
Indeed not even what would please.
So I went stiff all over
I shrank into the sofa.
And my Lord was I happy to leave!
I suppose now I’d not give a toss.
Ignoring me was their loss.
I am both blonde and wise
And have two blue eyes.
Though my face can go red when I’m cross.
My skin is too thin ,so I’m told
And my nerves are much larger and bold.
So I feel everything double
When there is real trouble.
Indeed it need only be cold
Email can be formal if we choose
But as time rattles on we all use
More informal manners
And dress in pajamas.
Soon they’ll be nude while declaiming the News.
Acronyms and short words abound.
If we spoke like that,how would it sound?
CU soon,lover
DNB another.
How can we be sure if we’re around?
50 per cent or more
of the world’s
surface is cheeta,
the fastest desert
or grassland on earth
The animal
is a hunter
but while Xtians think,
only for a few seconds,
can she tap her top speed?
So eat each other before nightall
I wonder animals did not
maintain the tactics
and planning of
their designer.
He lets us cook in the bush
As he simmers.
He’s hot!
Matthew,Mark,Luke and John
Go and put the kettle on.
Job needs comfort,there’s no beer.
Tell him tea is wet and clear,
Jacob grasped his brother’s heel.
Let’s see if this tea will heal.
Sibling troubles,concubines
All were sinners all were signs.
Matthew,Mark or Luke have gone
Let’s all read our book by John
Paul contrived Christianity
Instead he should have stuck to tea.
Jesus said ,no sacrifice.
Just drink your tea and behave nice.
That give Judas is idea
The perfect offering stood quite near.
Jews were scandalised and how!
God said of Isaac,no,no no !
Yet Christians say human sacrifice
Was God’s desire for Jesus Christ.
Are we going backwards when
We kill the Christ,again,again?
I was planning to go to the church
But my belief in God’s son ‘s in the lurch.
I feel very weak
And also can’t speak.
Ah,see the sun shine on those silver birch.
Auschwitz was surrounded by birch.
The guards mostly went to their church.
They swallowed the Host
By the hell of the lost.
Leave me now,don’t try to preach.
The ghosts of those people are here.
The world tosses us into that sphere.
Why not bomb more
Until we are sure
The ghosts are aungmented this year.
My bus queue admirer died.
He was 90 and was lonely inside.
From Cyprus they’d fled
Without even a bed.
Now he’s been swept out on the tide.
The sea is a symbol of life.
Though unruly, it does have its tides.
Its regular rhythm
Soothes the ache in my bosom.
And on its back I long to ride.
The unknown has mysterious force
And speaks to us in its own voice.
If we attended
Our ills might be mended.
As it often indicates our real choice.
Menorah is not a girls’ name.
Come here ,Norah, is not quite the same.
Let me light up your candle
And let the cat fondle..
My cheek, as it never feels shame
Candelebrah sounds extremely posh.
The vision makes all our cheeks flush.
The lights in the darkness
Throw out their sparks at us.
Creation ‘s a fiery,red bush.
“Tens of thousands of people come out for the celebration, which includes the lighting of the state’s largest menorah (an eighteen-foot steel stunner) and a performance by famed Jewish musician Avraham Fried.” — Brooke Porter Katz, Atlanta Magazine, 1 Nov. 2015
I had an admirer last year
In the bus queue at me he did stare.
Beautiful eyes
He said ,very nice.
He was lonesome and loved women fair.
Later he said,beautiful lady.
Don’t worry, it was nothing shady.
He was Greek,don’t you see
And he was lonely for me.
His wife had just died on that Mayday.
Some relations believe I have a queue
Of admirers who wait for a cue.
But it’s all fantasy
Because,don’t you see
About romance I have no clue.
Yet if a man wants a cripple
Who can see with one eye, and that’s subtle.
Send me your details,
Your phone and your email;
But you need to be extra supple.
I prefer men with noses quite big
And I blush to admit,love a cig.
For my daddy smoked
And the smell filled his coat.
So it turns me on my wooden leg.
Unqueued colours assaulting each other
When people complain about “foreigners” living here [ who may be British citizens BTW] one of the things they often mention is that foreigners don’t know how to queue.We queue for buses,,taxisin shops and banks and we all know how to do it.
You must not push,shove or even touch someone else.As a matter of fact touching someone against their will is common assault.. a crime unless it’s your spouse when it’s considered ok… or was till recently.
People stand in the order they arrive in.Late comers go to the end.If you don’t people get agitated unless you say,
I’m terribly sorry but I have severe pain in my legs.Could I possibly sit on that seat .I know I am pushing in but I won’t get onto the bus until it’s my turn.Thank you so much.You are so kind.
Then they will be happy to let you in.
If you visit the UK then this will help you…queueing the British hobby and habit.Fair play and all that.
