I threw my words up in the air So they would fall at random. I put some paper on the floor For these words to land on. They lay there like a shredded page. I pushed them with my fingers. Until I made a verse from them Which suits wild drunken singers. A Jackson Pollock of the page. Post modern verbal mistress As Picasso haunts Greek labyrinths With post modern art’s distresses.
Stan managed to drive from the Wash to Knittingham without accident.Satan was asleep in the bottom of the mirror only wakening when they stopped for a cup of tea in a Restaurant. But how can Satan drink his tea? Stan persuaded Satan that if he wore Stan’s hat and coat nobody would know he was not human.After all, many real humans don’t look human.So Satan went into the Little Chef for his first experience of human life.They all sat down and ordered tea and pancakes with jam and golden syrup. Wow,said Satan.I might consider apologising to the Lord if I can eat this every day Emile looked puzzled: An apology is not genuine if it is done for gain, he mewed. Gosh,where did you get such a clever cat, Satan asked Stan? He just turned up looking wet and hungry a few years ago.Then I taught him at home how to speak properly and the basics of ethics but he seemed to know more than I could explain Both the men stared at Emile as he lapped up the tea from a white china saucer.I wonder who he really is, they both murmured in a hushed tone. I have taught him to swim in our bath and sometimes he comes for a ride in my bike basket.Once he fell out yet managed to lure a beautiful lady to bring him home as he is tired of my mistress Annie and fancied someone who didn’t wear crimson and magenta together nor such extraordinary makeup from Lemmings of Wigan and Warrington. I’ve never heard of them said Satan wonderingly.I didn’t know women actually bought “makeup.”I thought when girls matured their faces went like that naturally/ That’s a bit stupid, said Stan bluntly.But never mind.Let’s carry on or Mary will worry Satan decided he would sit with Emile and stay out of the mirror.He was beginning to look like a human being albeit a rather ugly one What ever next?
Pray Father give me your blessing
Good grief, a real Catholic at last
Why, are there artificial ones?
No they just have terrible memories
No, they don’t know what a sacrament is.
But surely how we act is more vital
I don’t know, it’s so long since I was in the cemetery
Do you mean the cement factory?
Why would I mean that?
Don’t ask me,I’m just a human being
I mean the seminary, of course.I remember now.
Do you know the seven deadly sins?
They are in the Bible… murder.envy, hatred
Yes, I was joking.I am celibate officially.
But what are you really?
I am asexual.
Do you have no desire?
I love people but I have no need to go to bed with them
No, we do it on the floor at home
Are you married?
Yes,definitely.She is a red head.
I thought you might say Red Indian
We have very few living in Stoke on Trent.
Where is that?
On the river Trent.
But that goes through Nottingham
I thought Stoke was West of the Pennines
Yes, the Trent flows up one side and down the other.
That is a lie
Since my last Confession I have lied twice
What was the other lie?
I am not a Catholic
So why come here?
I am lonely and it’s bad for me so I thought Saturday night Catholics go to Confession
It’s not exactly fun.Why not go to the pub and pick up a woman?
Are you really a priest?
No,I was feeling lonely too
What a pity we are not bisexual
Well, we could learn
I thought it was genetic?
Do you mean generic
I don’t know.You mean like,buy paracetomol not panadol.
Genetic is totally different.
Am I a generic human or a dressed up, artificial and stunning person?
I can’t act natural.
But if I try it’s not natural.
Was that my penance listening to you?
It could have been.Say a little prayer for me as well
So you do believe?
Why not? It’s better than dying of meaninglessness
You so seem very clever
I’ll see you next week.
Play, Father,it is 29 years since my last decision. What was that? Not to practice my Faith Who is Faith? I mean, like Hope and Charity So why are you here? Only God knows But there are so many of us.Will he want to know? Probably not but he has…
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