My friends have now moved to The Cross

It’s Waltham. The Abbey, the lot.

It has so much mud .

It’s not very good

For people with innate bad coughs

There was a young lady in Dedham.

Who had a pot dog without any head on.

She stored her bank notes.

And the TV remote

Inside this mad dog made in Devon

I turned my head away then I looked back

The tree had disappeared the sky was black.

once it was deep coffee tinged with mauve

in my mind It turned into a grove.

i miss my tree at night before I sleep.

So these notes reminding me I keep

There was a young lady from Balham

Descended from Moses and. Adam

No mother had she

But a Queen bee

She went pink when she married a salmon

In the Guardian today

My boyfriend does not keep butter in the fridge

Maybe he is going to massage you with best butter tonight.

My boyfriend does not eat meat,

Does he inhale it?

My boyfriend likes whole milk

What’s the problem?

My girlfriend thinks I am obese

Never mind,you can spell.

I did Greats at Oxford

Try doing great next time

I have never been in love

I said the signpost is very small.

You are very cuddly

That is my cat,Beryl

I am not called Beryl.

No but but the cat is.

Is it female?

No it’s neutral.

Where is the cat’s mother?

With the cat’s father.

My boyfriend likes Russian vines.

How about Russian Invasions,?

Even the vines are invasive!

Do you want to go to Lithuania for half term?

No,they don’t speak Yiddish.

That’s because there are no Jews left.

Why,where have they gone?

The ugly tower block peeps through Holly trees

Turned to jewels of gold by sunny leaves