Academic squalor

My kitchens not refurbished

But that’s ok by me

I turn the Taps with pliers

When I make the tea.

The cupboards have no doors on

So I can see inside.

The bread bin has turned green again

So far noone has died.

The cooker needs attention

It’s all the Sunday roasts

I do intend to scrub it out

But didn’t like to boast