We once had a leader called Johnson
Who wanted to get hold of his pension
As he had used all our money
To beguile Mistress Sunny
Alas, it gained media attention

Then he wanted to pay for a nanny
A child came from the womb of sweet Sunny
He asked Tories to give
Him money to live
Is there no end, is this funny?

He claims to need £300,000
As a salary, please do not question
He buys handmade shoes
Who can refuse
This blonde beaming bounny’s directions?

Is there some malice aforethought
Some intelligence agents new-bought?
He can speak in Latin
And tell us who’s batting
But he’s rarely been seen here in Scunthorpe

Why not take early retirement
Then be a real full time parent
Little Wilf will adore him
Except when he’s snoring
Or trying to recollect all his gerunds

Will he be described as a tyrant
Or the man who put Nero’s fire out?
Or a witless buffoon
Without any tune
Oh, people do shout at his iPants

Now it is alleged that Boris Johnson has asked a Conservative donor to pay the childcare cost of his baby Wilfred.
Along with the redecoration of the flat,it seems there’s no end to his greed.
Or maybe Carrie asked him to share the childcare with her?
He has no record of looking after babies despite having about six with his wife and others
Perhaps he could take a year out on paternity leave.By then he could be old enough to retire
Then we’d have more horror.Who can take over?
Don’t answer

I wanted you to live until the summer came
The warmth the sun, the flowering of the shrubs
I wanted you here near me in our home
I wanted you to live until the summer came
You loved to be outside in summer rain
May was very dull and wet at home
I loved you then, I love you now, I love
I wanted you to live until the summer came
The warmth, the sun, the flowering of the shrubs