Would you like to go to bed?
Can you be more precise?

Would you like some lamb?
For what?

What do you eat for breakfast?
Mind your own business
That’s not very nice.
Exactly.

Is it time to get up?
No, come down

Shall we pray?
I think it’s too late

Goodness, it’s 11 am
Yes, we have that every day  here

So from now on, we can’t hug the postman
Unless he’s in a Bubble

Shall we call a cab?
Why can’t we ring?
I forgot the bell.I gave it to the cat.
Well, get it back
Actually it was a tiger
I don’t believe that
Wait till you get home
Why?~
He’s on the bed with the bell
We may have to get the police
Do you really think the police will help?
He can eat them first while we run away
Let’s sleep rough.
OK in a holly tree
Or a bed of roses

Shall we go out?
Where is our switch?

Do you want to have a meal?
I’d rather eat it.

I saw a black shape at the door
Probably your shadow.
It followed me in
Next time, go out.
Will it let me?
Just walk through it.

When the doctor smiled at me I saw a  gold fuzzy cloud
That means you don’t need LSD
No,I need a thicker skin and new glasses

I ran back and shook hands with the Consultant
I hope he wasn’t doing surgery.
He was gazing pensively at me then declared
You’re weird!
Is  that ethical?
It depends on what kind of weirdness it is.

He sent me for X rays ,then wept
Was that before or after he saw them?
He cried onto my bare knees
Is that ethical?
Well, no point crying onto an X ray is there?
Is it ethical?
Well, it won’t heal them.
How unethical!
Why can’t they insert new cartilege?
A pity my knee is not a gun
You are weird.Cartridge!

Put salt onto your scalp with your shampoo
If like the ocean you are feeling blue
When you rub, the dry skin will come off
So at the moment  you must never cough

Do not  grate the cheese with your false  teeth
This will give your  other some relief
There are  great devices you can buy
Make certain yours  is not a home for flies

Coffee with no  milk may be a dye
Pour it on your head as alibi
Is there any warrant  for arrest?
Do not send your blood until it’s blessed

If you see some tear gas in your street
Lock the door and hide beneath the sheets
The Bible as a weapon is uncouth
God does not embroider  his own truth

Integration means so much  to me
I learned  the Calculus from A to B
I learned  about  geometry ,don’t tell
If Euclid comes I’m up  the pole as well

Alfred,cat ,both black and white
Do not be afraid
Alfred dearest, that was News
Before the Trump  arrived
Alfred how I miss you now
I hope you’re still alive
You look quite puzzled or afraid
I’m sorry I was sad
In this world of madness  now
We search for tidings glad
If you have another home
I don’t mind now you’re gone
I hope you find a  warm bed place
And sleep  until  you’re done