After the pips

Sorry,I am unable to answer the phone.
My voice is on strike.
I have been muted
My eyes are too wet
My husband has to keep his eye on the clock today.
My sister’s glued to the television.
And my other sister’s off the map
While my brothers have been at Loggerheads for some time.

My daughter has to keep a weather eye on her fiancee,
And my granddaughter has been entranced by “The Magic Flute.”
The cat is having kittens.
So am I
The dog is chasing his tail. and barking like a wolf
I’ve got my finger on the nuclear button
And my hand in the expenses

My feet have gone to sleep.
I forgot how to walk and  talk
My head is coming unscrewed,
And my mind is on higher things.
My husand kept whisky there
So my brain is is under investigation
And I hope to be reunited with it soon
But they can’t be absolutely certain it will reconnect.

My spirits have been in the doldrums
But I have some whisky in the cupboard.
My career spanned the heights and the depths,
Though not of love
as God would recognize it,
In a very real sense.
You must rest assured I care about you
Though I do not feel able to converse.
Now there’s just a few minutes before I go for broke again
Please leave a message after the pips.