The impertinence of logic

Do stop dragging your feet behind you

Well it’s hard to drag them in front of you.

I think that is very impertinent.

It’s just logical. Can logic be impertinent?

Will the headteacher let us wear stiletto heels?

Why do you ask such a silly question?

You can’t drag your feet if you are wearing stiletto heels.

I wish we could take our heads off at night. So you wouldn’t think

If you unscrew your head and put it down on the table it might have a Bluetooth connection to your body.

So I will still be thinking then?

Unless you can find a button to turn it off.

What about my belly button?

I don’t think that can turn everything off off

No it might turn some people on.

So a button on my body could turn a man on who is 6 ft away from me.

It’s a bit like quantum mechanics.

You mean nobody can understand it?

I don’t see how my belly button is related to to the movement of particles in space.

Well you see lots dust motes in the air

Don’t tell me they are electrons

That’s ridiculous. You don’t see an electron by itself

And you can’t see them with the naked eye anyway.

What about positrons

Do you ever stop showing off?

No you bring out the worst in me.

You pressed too many of my buttons.

How many buttons do you have on your body?

It’s a metaphor.

I don’t see why everything is in Greek

Would you prefer double Dutch?

No no I prefer plane straight-forward words of English origin.

That’s not fair on the Celts.

But they spoke English didn’t they?

No just forget about it the English are descended from the Anglo-Saxons.

But there must have been inter marriage.

They could have had a Celtic lover

But they wouldn’t need to speak then

That is probably why they had them

9

Frenzy

Tony why have you brought a ladder to school?

You said you were nearly climbing the walls last week. So I thought I would help you.

But it’s only got two steps.

Google like two step verification so I thought it could be useful in the computing lesson.

Where do you go when you get to the second step?

It depends where you put the ladder when you start0

Can you bring a mirror tomorrow please?

What’s a mirror got to do with it?

We need a period of reflection.

Climbing the walls – Idioms by The Free Dictionary

https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/climbing+the+walls

climbing the walls

Anxious or annoyed to the point of frenzy.The doctor hasn’t called me with the test results yet, so I’ve been climbing the walls.If she makes another foolish blunder like that, I’ll be climbing the walls.

null

Buy Monet

My art

Teacher why have you brought that tin of pencils into the classroom?

Because I want to draw my own conclusion

Teacher why have you brought a telescope today?

Student: because I’m going deaf.

Teacher: what will you bring with you if you go dumb? 

Teacher: as you look into the distance the road seems to get narrower

Student I hope it’s not a Mobius strip

Teacher :why have you climbed on top of t?he cupboard?

Student: I want to see life from a different perspective.

Teacher: why have you brought your cat to school today?

Student: Because I can’t bring it yesterday

Teacher: why have you brought a flashlight to school?

In case anyone gets lost in thought.

Teacher I wonder who will be top of the class?

And we wonder who will be the bottom

Teacher today we will study the existence of God.

Student I just don’t believe it.

Teacher well we have run out of text books so I want you to use your imagination.

So you want me to imagine that God exists?

Teacher:If we keep practising every day then there may be an effect.

I hope the government doesn’t say that when the grain runs out.

Teacher :’imagine free school dinners for all

I just can’t believe it

Now Thomas you must try harder.

Jesus wept

Where is the headmistress?

She has been in a brown study all day.

Now girls I’m going to give you all the tension.

You mean Attention ?

I mean all my tension.

She got out on the wrong side of the dead this morning

Is it her husband?

No she buried him

Oh my lord, was he dead?
Well he is now.

I think you are differently labelled.

Is it the spelling terrors?

Yes and the compound interest

You really do pay for your mistakes