He must be right

Too much leisure at leads to sinful acts.

Reading tiny print on bacon packs

Asking us the size we take in boots.

Borrowing guns from soldiers for a hoot.

If you are creative write a book

I fright the young men by teaching . groups

I apologise for that with sultry looks.

As long as the police think I’m a crook

Don’t ask for information in the night

If you’ve gone to bed he must be right

When you go to heaven don’t tip the Saints.

Hell is hot with furnishings quite quaint.

Do you think potato cakes are food

Answer this in every kind of mood l

If you’re feeling hungry they are meat

Yeah when you need some cake they can be sweet.

Cover them in butter and some salt

Give over Mother, we get off at the Holt

I

Stan wears a nightdress in the heat

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Alfred my old cat

The weather in Knittingham was rather hot.Mary was away giving a lecture on Dirac’s thoughts  in Oxford and Stan felt lonely.He rang Annie but she was out.
So he said to Emile
I am going to bed early.Have you had enough to eat?
Definitely,cried Emile,who had just licked all the cream off two meringues in the larder.So Stan went upstairs.He took off all his clothes and admired his thin body in the mirror.
Not bad for 97,he muttered.
Now what shall I put on?
He found his pyjamas too hot so on an impulse he opened Mary’s wardrobe and found a cotton nightdress.It was a bit big for him but definitely cooler than  his pyjamas.He cleaned his teeth and washed himself before falling into bed with,The Other Ariel a book about Sylvia Plath’s poetry and how Ted Hughes had altered the order of her poems and even removed some from the book .Ariel,which made her name.The doorbell rang.Each time it played a different tune out of the 90 in its repertoire.
He  ran downstairs and opened the door.There stood two policemen.
They stared a the handsome old man with elegant hands
Hello.Sir.I hope we have not interrupted you?
No,I am just reading in bed. on my own
Do you always wear a nightgown?
This is the first time,he told them humorously.
I felt very hot so I decided to wear my wife’s gown.
And just  where is your wife?
What’s it got to do with you,he enquired  unceremoniously.
Just tell us,the older policeman said brusquely
She’s at a conference in Oxford giving a talk.About Dirac or Riemann or another nitwit.
Can we come in? the policeman said.
May we come in,Stan corrected him;not a good idea on the whole,especially in the USA where the police have guns.Luckily all  our police have  here are rubber gloves in case people ask them to wash up after having a  cup of tea.
What is wrong? said Stan.
We have found a naked woman walking  in the High Street.She says a man stole her clothes.For various reasons we think it might be you.
But  if she was in the High Street she’d  be in proper clothes not a nightdress,surely ,Stan  murmured.
But you like women’s clothes….. we can see.
No,I don’t,  the old man shouted.
I told you I was too hot.And in my own home I can wear anything I like.
Sometimes I wear a  prayer shawl
Are you Jewish? they asked.
Only a little, but I inherited it from a great grandfather who married out.
Out of what? the police asked
He married out of his faith.He was longing  for a bacon sandwich.
Surely marrying  just to eat a bacon sandwich is a bit over the top.
Well,that was his story.Maybe he was tired of obeying the Ten Commandments so he broke most of them.
Which ones?
He committed adultery once when his wife had a nervous breakdown ; he lost his head and went to bed with his neighbour’s wife.
And  where was his neighbour?
At the psychiatric unit visiting my great grandmother.Stan admitted uneasily.
Well,at such times we all do odd things,the  older policeman  advised him.
Thank you for your frankness,Sir.I can see you are not a criminal.
Thank the Lord,said Stan as he went into the kitchen and put the kettle on to make a cup of tea to save ringing 999
I am lucky not to be in a cell and Mary would have had to come home.She would have been cross, he told Emile.Anyway monks wear habits.
But who had stolen the clothes off the woman in town? A mystery  to be studied with Annie when she got home.
At last Stan relaxed and went back to bed with  his books
This is the last time I  ever wear a nightdress he whispered to Emile who was  by his side.
And so hope all of us.

Charles Hermite and transcendental numbers

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The story of numbers is enough to make one believe in a Higher Power or even a transcendental Power?

A Concise History of Mathematics [Fourth Revised Edition] Paperback – 1 Nov 1987

 This topic  will take your mind off Brexit and help you regain a sense of awe and wonder.This cartoon has an equation on it.But some numbers are never found as the answer to such an equation.And that can be proved.And some of the proofs are quite easy.

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http://mrburkemath.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/x-why-mini-algebra-problems.html

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http://www.britannica.com/biography/Charles-Hermite

Hermite  might not have succeeded nowadays as passing exams was not easy for him.I suspect he was a person who preferred to  spend his time  on his own  interests in Mathematics and to neglect his wider studies

I have referred in some of   my  Stan  stories to the number “e”.Hermite was the first to prove  that e is not an algebraic number.

http://www.mathsisfun.com/numbers/transcendental-numbers.html

{ see the article].

It may surprise many people that there are different kinds of numbers  ,beginning with the integers 1.2.3…… and the rational numbers  [fractions like 1/2 4/5   89/54 etc.]
The Babylonians discovered  the  ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter was fixed regardless of the size of the circle.We call it pi.It is not an integer nor a raional number.The number of integers is infinite.

“The ancient Babylonians calculated the area of a circle by taking 3 times the square of its radius, which gave a value of pi = 3. One Babylonian tablet (ca. 1900–1680 BC) indicates a value of 3.125 for pi, which is a closer approximation.” [from link below]

They used 3 as an approximation and  in the Hebrew Bible 400 BCE the Temple was  made using 3 as an approximation. Archimedes got closer.But.   like e, pi cannot be expressed as a fraction.
Some other numbers like the square root of 2 are irrational  [ that is,not fractions[ but they are algebraic.As in x squared =2

Relating to Solomon’s temple.They used pi =3.It is in the  Hebrew Bible

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Real numbers are all numbers from integers to the transcendental and they are uncountably infinite
Pi and e are called transcendental numbers.We don’t know many other
Yet
“The set of transcendental numbers is uncountably infinite. Since the polynomials with rational coefficients are countable, and since each such polynomial has a finite number ofzeroes, the algebraic numbers must also be countable. However, Cantor’s diagonal argument proves that the real numbers (and therefore also the complex numbers) are uncountable. Since the real numbers are the union of algebraic and transcendental numbers, they cannot both be countable. This makes the transcendental numbers  uncountably infinfte

Quote from article below {Euler is usually credited with this]

:In 1706 a little-known mathematics teacher named William Jones first used a symbol to represent the platonic concept of pi, an ideal that in numerical terms can be approached, but never reached.

William Jones, mathematician from Wales, 1740

William Jones, mathematician from Wales, 1740

The history of the constant ratio of the circumference to the diameter of any circle is as old as man’s desire to measure; whereas the symbol for this ratio known today as π (pi) dates from the early 18th century. Before this the ratio had been awkwardly referred to in medieval Latin as: quantitas in quam cum multiflicetur diameter, proveniet circumferencia (the quantity which, when the diameter is multiplied by it, yields the circumference).

– See more at: http://www.historytoday.com/patricia-rothman/william-jones-and-his-circle-man-who-invented-pi#sthash.4bbJtftH.dpuf

2012-05-12 10.31.12-44

 

 

http://www.historytoday.com/patricia-rothman/william-jones-and-his-circle-man-who-invented-pi

https://www.exploratorium.edu/pi/history_of_pi/

 

http://mrburkemath.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/x-why-mini-algebra-problems.html

This is meant to be humorous

God can pass through walls


Now we live in cubicles voluminous
We cannot kiss a friend to say goodbye
Though some may see or hear the numinous
While we live as separate as our perfume is

God is unaffected by walls numerous
Can visit prisoners without need for lies
Divert lonely people being humorous
As we ‘re locked so separate can you live with us?

We cannot kiss the cat to say goodbye