Doctor, my husband has left home
Doctor,I have lost the cat
Maybe the cat has lost you
Doctor, my sister is ill
I don’t do distance healing
Doctor,I sent a photo of my ulcer
Where is it?
In the computer.I imagine
Well, show me the ulcer
I thought it was all virtual now
Except for the pain!I’ll give you a painkiller
Doctor, I am lonely
What a coincidence, so am I!
Doctor I ate some Maltesers
Cannibalism is a crime
No,I mean chocolate balls
I didn’t expect a lady to be so vulgar
But they sell them in Tesco’s
I just don’t believe it.
I’ll show you.
I didn’t know you were transexual
Neither did I.
Doctor can we eat Maltesers after Brexit?
Ask the EU
Doctor, is Malta far away?
Doctor,I want to go on holiday
Where to ?
Are you crazy?
Would I know?
Doctor, blood is running down my arm
That’s because of gravity
Can’t you stop it?
Doctor, my fingers go numb in bed
But he’s dead
I ‘ll tell him when I get home
Are you sure he is your husband?
Since Hitler died they don’t tattoo numbers on us any more
You could have a micro-chip put in your finger
Will it cure the numbness?
No, but we’ll know where you are
And they call ME paranoid
That’s what the Japanese said after Hiroshima
I don’t believe you
Well, that makes no difference to the truth
Pontius Pilate where are you/