Give over




Doctor, my husband has left home
Whose home?

Doctor,I have lost the cat
Maybe the cat has lost you

Doctor, my sister is ill
I  don’t do distance healing

Doctor,I sent  a photo of my ulcer
Where is it?
In the computer.I imagine
Well, show   me the ulcer
I thought it was all virtual now
Except for the pain!I’ll give you a painkiller
Only one?

Doctor, I am lonely
What a coincidence, so am I!

Doctor I ate  some Maltesers
Cannibalism is a crime
No,I mean chocolate balls
I didn’t expect a lady to be so vulgar
But they sell them in Tesco’s
I just don’t believe it.
I’ll show you.
I didn’t know you were transexual
Neither did I.

Doctor can we eat Maltesers after Brexit?
Ask  the EU

Doctor, is Malta far away?
From where?

Doctor,I want to  go on holiday
Where to ?
Your house
Are you crazy?
Would I know?

Doctor, blood is running down my arm
That’s because of gravity
Can’t you stop it?

Doctor, my fingers go numb in bed
Whose bed?
My husband’s
But he’s dead
I ‘ll tell him when I get home
Are you sure he is your husband?
Since Hitler died they don’t tattoo numbers on us any more
You could have a micro-chip put in your finger
Will it cure the numbness?
No, but we’ll know where you are
And they call ME paranoid
Calm down
That’s what  the Japanese said after Hiroshima
I don’t believe you
Well, that makes no difference to the truth
Pontius Pilate  where are you/

I welcome comments and criticism

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