Emile and Smokey

Annie went into Mary’s kitchen to look at her new  grey kitten
Will Emile not be jealous of Smokey,she asked nervously?
No, he says he’d like to pass on his knowledge to  other cats,Mary sighed
What knowledge? Annie said intrusively?
Well, how to get on with me  like Stan,Mary murmured
Surely all  men are different,Annie said thoughtfully?
I suppose so, but they do have somethings in common,Mary rambled on
Such as?
I’ll have to be careful or I will be hounded by  the politically fairly correct,said poor Mary
How can you be fairly correct? Annie enquired
It’s like fuzzy logic….. a thing is no longer right or wrong, true or false,and so on
It’s a many valued logic,Mary said in her peculiar  manner ;  very rapid speaking  combining  a Northern accent with the vocabulary of a scientist thus rendering her unfit to read the Newsfor the BBC,ITV Israel, Al Jazeera
or indeed any  TV service anywhere at all especially  China.
I suppose in reality few things are just black or white , remarked Stan jovially.
I have made a cake he announced proudly
What sort, shouted Annie hungrily?
A chocolate cake.I  made icing by melting a bar of chocolate in a pan with some buttera
then it spreads easily.
So does my waist, said Mary.I used to be almost flat  but now I am 3 dimension.I know I was too thin but now I am obese
So it’s not just your waist,said Annie.
Oh,give over.Stop me feeling worse
Well, you look ok to  me, said Stan.I am proud to be your husband
And I am proud to be your mistress, Annie said to Stan
Surely you should not say that in front of me, Mary said
But you know,Annie said in a matter of fact manner,  her eyes gleaming with blue and gold eye shadow and green mascara
It’s one thing knowing something, another hearing it said  out loud,Mary told her sharply
So, if we don’t believe in God, we should not say so and visa versa.Annie added
My goodness Annie, your IQ is rising like bread in a hot oven,Mary exclaimed
On the whole it’s better to keep quiet and only tell people something if it is essential.
Stan’s brother was in South Africa, they say he was in the ANC
What is an ANC, a mental health unit?
Anxiety Not Conversation
Angst Never Converts
Anguished No Clue
Anxiety Not Condemned

Anguish Now Cool
It was a political movement to get rights for the black people in South Africa
Was Stan’s brother black?
Possibly but he died long ago.
Stan, was your brother black?
No, he was just a priest from England who got sent out there to  teach black students in the apartheid era,
Wow, why did you not tell us,asked Annie
As I said before, do you need to know?
No, but it’s interesting, she said
You should do something useful instead of gossiping,Stan cried
Annie hit him with a big umbrella which, alas, knocked him out
Oh,no, said Emile, how can I look after Smokey when  I will have to ring 999?
I shall call them, said Mary, and get the police here to arrest Annie
Stan jumped up.
I was not unconcious he said.Not totally, but don’t do it again as it is common assault
The doorbell rang and in ran  dear Dave, the transgender  gay and well dressed paramedic
We’ve not even phoned 999, said Emile
Dave cried,I just knew something was wrong
Well,Emile said,I am taking Smokey upstairs.And we will have a good sleep
Maybe you should all do the same
And so say all of us

o

 

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