Mary got all dolled up in her new pink wool dress.She was going to visit her former neighbour Sally in her pleasan and friendly Care Home not far away
Which handbag will match this, she asked her tomcat Emile.She did love a bag of fine quality as did he.
Not a black one, he muttered
How about blue?
Yes cerulean blue is pretty.
Mary put her keys and money into the bag,
It is very large,but never mind
Emile thought, Now my chance has come.
He donned his denim jacket and got a clean Hanky
Then when Mary was powdering her nose he hid inside the gorgeous Enny bag
Powder puff £4 by Barks 2 Often
Buy bag in G bay for £5000
Mary put the bag on her
shoulder and went to the
bus stop
And so will all of us
Soon the bus arrived.She picked up her beautiful bag and almost fell over.It was very heavy.
I am getting old, she thought I can hardly lift my handbag Little did she suspect the truth That Emile was inside trembling in fear in case Mary should drop the bag off the bus.He weighed 5 kg without his fur,so he had been told by the Doctor.
The bus went off and soon they reached Naughty Hall with it’s lovely Cedar Tree and its rose gardens.They got off the bus and walked to Pewter Road where Sally was waiting for Mary.She did not know that Mary had this errant cat hiding in her bag
But she soon will
Mary rang the bell on the front door of Suffolk House.
Come in the receptionist cried.
I have come to visit Sally, Mary told her Is she still in Room 13?
No we call it 12a now because 13 is unlucky
For whom?
Well someone broke a tooth eating nuts in there.
That’s not bad luck.Its stupid to bite hard nuts when you are old.At least it was not some old people having heart attacks while making love That would have made the News.
In the Guardian last week it said that old people could still enjoy sex They advise playing with toys.
Well they could still have heart attacks using toys
Can’t tell you as I have never seen a sex toy nor used one.
We will ask Matron then
Do you think she uses them?
God knows but it is not part of the job description.
Not yet
And so cry all of us.
Sally was happy to see Mary
What a pretty dress she whispered
Thank you said Mary.
Oh, lord your handbag is shaking.Is there a bomb in it?
Who would bomb a Care Home?
A crazy old woman!
That would be stupid.
Oh dear, it’s moving .Oh, God.
The women froze.
The two women stared at the bag.
And so have all of us.
Then they heard a loud Miaow.
It’s a cat.A large one.
Now Emile what are you doing?
Can’t breathe.Let me out, mother.Quick.
Are you the cat’s mother, asked Sally?
Not literally, Mary confessed.
She let Emile out and it was a lovely treat for Sally.She had not touched an animal since her husband died 6 years ago.
She usually preferred dogs but Emile was such fun
And so are all of us .
Then Mary decided to go home with her cat but he had to walk to the bus stop because she wasn’t going to carry them in her handbag
Sally I have to say goodbye now. I need to get home and someone is coming to see me tonight nk
So you are lucky sorry soon I wish someone was coming to see me but maybe my son John will be coming tomorrow
Mary walked along to the bus stop will her cat then she saw a car stopping.
It was her neighbour Michael.
What are you doing with your cat up here?
We have been to see Sally my friend in her care home and now we are going home home
I can take you said Michael
St. Mary and her cat got into the back of the car along was Mary’s handbag
Then NH NH in 10 minutes they were back in their own neighbourhood and Emile was especially delighted
I will never get inside Mary’s handbag ever again, he vowed even if Sally has never touched an animal for 7 or 8 years. It’s not my fault but they have no animals in the care home..
and at that very moment a very kind lady called Dora was scrubbing Sally’s room when they when they realised that a cat has been inside it
And so would all of us
How my heart sings 