The call

Hello.God here.We have a message
Please press 9 to continue
I am just going to put you on hold for a minute
Thank you we  value your call
Sorry, you are 24th in the queue
You can leave your numbet and we will call you back asap
All   calls are  recorded for  training  tortoises
Thank you for  quaking.We value your privac
I am God
Please dial 111 now
Thank yoi for phoning
Please ring 999  for  emergencies
Please hang up now and call  our Helpline at MIND

I welcome comments and criticism

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