I get my groceries via Amazon Prime sometimes.
So I can thank Boris Johnson for one thing…. he’s the Prime Minister and the delivery is great
He might even preach in Church as well.
Why he is in Parliaament is a puzzle
.Amazon don’t pay tax like we do.Does he?
We should have a Word Minister….. a word and you are here.
That is, he’s Merlin modern replacement…..but where is Arthur?
And a Punctuation Minister to decide if “and ” should have an Oxford comma before it and a Cambridge colon after it.And, and, and, and so on ,and……….;?:@@”£%
Where is our common sense?
Where is Society?
Where are we going to?
Hell,I don’t know
Someone rang me last week saying they were from IPSO Mori
They are doing a survey.They want me to write down everything I do for either a week or a month
I wonder what they mean by “everything”
I was offered £40 in vouchers.So if I stop writing you will understand
Who would tell strangers everything they did?
I thought it was for some TV company re which programmes I watch.I could hardly believe they expected me to tell them all I do
7 am Went to the lav
Fell over my feet
Brushed my hair
8 am Scratched my back and had a cup of tea.That was hard
Had more tea and weetabix.Wondered why I washed up
9 am Decided to get up, wondered what to wear
10 am Got up, got washed and got dresses.Order is vital
10.30 Felt like emigrating but instead gave a lecture on algebraic topology
11.30 am Felt like a pee again.Wet myself.
Changed my clothes and washed them
11,40 Breathed and breathed again until full of air
Didn’t like my outfit
12 noon Looked out of the window and wondered if I need a new TV
12,30 pm Went to library and stole 3 books
1 pm Wondered if I could open the sherry bottle with a cheese grater
Ate a raw carrot on toast and got diarrhea
2 pm Had some tinned soup from the tin to save energy
Fried my bread in olive oil
3 pm Wrote s story
4 pm Had a fit of laughter and saw the black cat
6 pm It went dark and I forgot to put the bin out
7 p,m Ate some frozen curry with a knife
8 pm Ate a chocolate biscuit soaked in wine
9 pm Washed my hair with Fairy Snow
10 pm Washed up again
11 pm Went to Tesco’s again then came home
12 midnight Went out on my broomstick
1 am Fell into a holly tree
2 am Rang 999
3 am Was locked in cell with a policeman
4 am Released on bail pending psychiatric exam
5 am Went to bed with the cat
6 am Dreamed about my Jewish boyfriend
7 am Woke up
8 am Decided not to do this poll