Thanks for the surprise

All our food is served on clean dates
We use only Sheffield  blameless stolen knives
I wash the tablecloths myself weekly in  the river and I have a bath too
I use fairies to wash up.Who dries? The air!
Minimum wage paid to all and sundry
Eat as much as you like and play for it.Free piano now
All tea towels boiled at Xmas.Drained by New Year.Dried in mid air
All the  food is fresh and so am I.. fresh out of money
Sausage  pie is made by turkeys.Suitable for kosher and non -pork eaters.
Come slave with me and be my glove.. oven glove needed now
Please be polite.We aim to tease.We aim to please.We aim to wheeze.
Thanks for your customs.We have ours.
Thanks for the exercise.
Thanks for the surprise.