Walking along

How beautiful it was when the sun shone
And I walked with you,my dear husband, through the gardens.
How happy I was to sit with you by the lake
and to hear the water from the fountain splash.
It's our our favourite music now we cannot visit the sea
To hear the tide rush in,then fall sucking on the shingley beach.
But I see it in my minds eye.
Aldeburgh,the fishing boats go out at sunrise.
I awoke early and saw the sun across the sea
and the boats setting out in the soft light.
Dunwich,the heath filled with birds
the cliff and the beach where sometimes one can find marble
from one of the many churches washed away by the encroaching sea.
And Southwold,the marsh so quiet I heard crickets.
We went across the Blyth in the rowing boat
And saw the place from which our picture of Walberswick was painted...
If only life could be captured,slowed, for a few minutes
for us to receive the beauty and hear the sound of the sea
The everlasting music of the heart

In a crack, a seed may grow

When you are far,
The longest night,
The shortest winter day,
will be places where
might die.
The heart’s interior
no-one else
Can view.
When you are lost,
I cannot find
your face…
Its outline on the pillows,
My fingers shaped to trace…
The new design,
the stellar rhyme,
Where have you gone?
You slipped from out my arms.
You slipped away.
Was night or day
Ever cut by such a narrow line?
In your embrace I lay.
You seemed so strong.
Yet,sighing, took the path away.
I can’t see where
Or is it
I tried to write
to bring new light,
It’s dark, and still.
I long for you to come.
Oh,will we ever quite
Find out our way?
Or is that pure illusion?
As we stagger through
the wandering furrows
in the fields
They shoot us down.
What is this confusion?
The war goes on
The world goes round
The mirror gapes at each new clown.
But in a crack, a seed may grow..
I can’t  hear you,
But yet,you know

Are you toxic? Am I?



9) They’re evasive

Most people are quite straightforward. You ask them a question, and they’ll give you the answer. But not a toxic person. They thrive on attention and drama, and will happily lie at will. They also find strength in destabilising others. Unable to operate on a level playing field, they tilt, twist and muddle the truth until no one is sure what’s going on.

They use this tactic to control meetings and cover up their deficiencies. They’re also adept political creatures who know just how to manipulate a situation to their advantage – and sabotage anyone who is in their way.

So if you ever come across anyone who seems unable to give you a straight answer, who makes the most straightforward project seem convoluted, who hogs and sabotages every meeting, or who changes the subject whenever you ask for something, the chances are they’re toxic.

10) They’re not nice to others

Don’t get us wrong, toxic people can be very charming. But only when it serves them. If you’re useful to them or they want something from you, they may be lovely, flattering even. Their attentions can seem heady and overwhelming. But it’s all a show.

The clearest way to get a sense of someone’s real character is to watch how they treat others, especially people who aren’t useful to them, and never will be.

How nice are they to the guy that works in the station ticket office? To the postman? The waitress in the café you sometimes go to for lunch? Junior colleagues? Other peoples’ children?

If you want to find out whether someone may be toxic or not, just observe their relationships with people who mean nothing to them, and watch how polite, kind or thoughtful they are (or not). It’s a good measure of how they may one day treat you if you cease to be useful!

How to handle toxic people

So what do you do if you have a toxic person in your life? The last thing you want to do is to go down to their level, but you do need to learn to protect yourself. Here are some tips:

  • Know your boundaries and stick to them – don’t let a toxic person erode your boundaries for their own gain. Work out what is important to you and make sure you don’t budge on it.
  • Keep a record of anything decided – as we recommend in our article on how to handle a difficult client, make sure you protect yourself from toxic colleagues, bosses or customers. If anything is discussed or agreed verbally, follow it up with an email confirmation, and invite correction if anything is wrong. This will help to prevent or expose lying later on.
  • Be polite and honest – just because someone else is rude or deceitful doesn’t mean you have an excuse to be. Ensure you always act by your own standards, and let others see toxic people for what they are.
  • Don’t share confidences with them – expect that anything you say to a toxic person will be repeated in a negative way, so be careful what you share with them. Never gossip about colleagues, clients or friends, or share a secret that you wouldn’t mind your worst enemy knowing.
  • Avoid being a shoulder to cry on – as we shared in our article on positivity, negativity is contagious and drags others down with you. So when you spend hours listening to a toxic person moan about everything that has gone wrong or the people who have betrayed them, all that is going to happen is that you’ll feel depressed! Nothing you can say will cheer up a toxic person – they enjoy being a victim. Save your energies for those who genuinely deserve them, or who make you feel better, not worse.
  • Be firm – toxic people want their own way at any cost. So you’ll need to stand your ground when dealing with them. If you’re not giving them them what they want, they’ll try all kinds of underhand and emotionally manipulating tactics to get it. So be prepared and be firm.

Read more articles about toxic people

When ancient hearts cried “Day shall come again”

When red sun  drops and  cooling night  rolls in
Darkness covers danger and our vision
Ancient minds fear day won’t come again
Courage for the  delicate   seems thin
We  wrestle  with  our cruel indecision
Gone coral sun and   dreaming night   rolls in
But now new stricken by a sense of sin
Who shall aid  the soul   in her derision?
Our  ancient minds fear   day won’t come again
When  we sleep we’re entertained within
Deft dreams dangle deep illusions
When sweet sun falls and nimble night  slips in
With reverie and dream the heart’s  opened
Then  fancy turns to full communion
While ancient minds pray day will  come again

And so  it was that our own life began
When sperm leaped up in  proud confusion.
When old sun  dropped and  a   new night  rolled in
When ancient hearts cried,Day shall come again!”

Mentalising and how the mind works


I don’t like the word but I find it an intriguing topic….We assume others understand the world like we do.But many  unfortunate people did not have the security of learning that we all have minds,thoughts etc and others do.Some of us can’t tell a thought in our minds from reality.Whether or not you can do this,it helps one to know some others cannot do it,So if they think something they believe it is real…I find the early development of the mind is fascinating just as is the early beginning of human cultural development,language skills and so on.I feel they are linked

I love myself because I need all the love I can get

Dotty cats 2

I’m so sensitive ,I get people fatigue even  when I am by myself.~
I’m so sensitive,I can hear other people’s hearts beating .It gives  me palpitations.
I was so  precocious I spoke before I could talk.
I am so attractive  I have to wear   a veil and cloak to keep men away
I love unattainable people  as true  intimacy  is  wearing.
I love myself because I need all the love I can get.
I am so frightened of being trapped under a dryer I cut my hair off  with the dressmaking scissors.Now it just needs a  wash  and breeze dry..
I did a test for autism.I heard I am off the spectrum.Why is it finite?
I’m not easily insulted as I feel a sense of deep shame  all the time.
I envy those with rubber skins.I’ll come back as a shark or a whale
I’m so  tentative I   keep waiting for others to make the first move,whatever that is.

Ghazal: In Silence


Let them be, the battles you fought, in silence.
Bury your shame, the worst you thought, in silence.

At last my Beloved has haggled with death.
‘One more day’ was the pearl she bought in silence.

At night she heard the blacksmith hammering chains,
at dawn the saw, the fretwork wrought in silence.

‘The only wrong I’ve done is to live too long,’
my Beloved’s eyes tell the court in silence.

She’s as young as the month of Ordibehesht,
month of my birth, spring’s mid-leap caught in silence.

My Beloved, under the shade of a palm,
was the girl, the mother I sought in silence.

Loneliness is innumerate. Days slip by,
suns rise that daylight moons distort in silence.

The bell on her wrist was silent, her fingers
ice cold as the julep she brought in silence.

Mimijune! Mimijune!‘ My Beloved’s voice
climbs three steep notes for tears to thwart in silence.

Three syllables of equal weight, equal stress,
dropped in a well, keep falling short in silence.

About this poem:
“I wrote this poem as an elegy for my mother who died suddenly at the age of 92, after a night and a day in hospital. Living in England, I had been separated from her since childhood, but after the Iranian revolution my mother left Iran and settled in London, where we became very close. This is the first ghazal in which I have tried to observe, along with the requisite rhyme and refrain (qafia and radif), the disjunctive nature of the couplets. The suffix june/jan is commonly used as a term of endearment in Farsi, meaning dear, dearest, darling, but also life or soul.”Mimi Khalvati

How to understand poetry



1. Read aloud

Poetry comes from an oral tradition. The earliest poems we have were not originally written down, but recited as a form of storytelling, and many poems follow that tradition in spirit. So when you read poetry, you should vocalize the words on the page. Doing so will help you get a feel for the sound of the poem, and at the very least appreciate the beauty of the language. Reading aloud also cues you in to a poem’s rhyme scheme and rhythm, and helps you identify other sonic devices, which include word repetition and alliteration (the repetition of initial consonant sounds).

2. “Prosify”

Every noun has Hilbert’s designing

Every  shroud leaves widows pining.
The unendowed grieve after straining
The unbowed heads seem undermining

Don’t  paint your  flashing
Don’t flaunt your blessings
Won’t  haunt the gassing.

Lift up your parts and twang
Draught up the heart makes bangs
Waft up the Dart on wings

There are famous introverts




Rosa Parks
rosa parks
The Civil Rights legend who refused to give up her bus seat for a white man in 1955 was also considered an introvert. Susan Cain wrote in the introduction of her book Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking: