Wild as a scream

It’s so hard being a real lady,I feel I have tried my best
I bought myself new makeup, lipstick and a thermal vest
But I feel there’s something lacking, my deodorant does not work
I used to love  that pink Innoxa, now it’s Dove which I can’t shirk
First, we  have to do our faces,with abrasive wash to  clean those pores
When I took another Selfie,I knew that it would take ten hours
Then we have to soak our bodies in a bath of perfumed silk
As we drowse in lovely reverie, someone shouts, drat where’s the milk?
Surely that can’t be my husband for he never shouts at all
If he does he will regret it, God  knows I shall not play ball
When  I’m really clean and  perfumed,I  put on a brand new dress
When he sees me in the doorway, he calls, what a bloody mess.
What do you mean my darling angel, to whom are you shouting that
He said,it’s your  nylon wig,my sweetheart,it is just like Trump’s doormat.
Well,I never did my hair yet,I took so long getting  clean
He said,I prefer you dirty, and your hair wild as a  scream.
Well,I should have asked him,before I spent 500 pounds
I bought all that Boots can offer, and some more around the town.
So I’ll never  be a lady and he’ll never be a lord
I’ll wear makeup in the kitchen and grime  for love in bed.
I can’t waste my money ,I’ll wear Dove during the day
Then I’ll sweat with dark emotion when  my husband wants to play