

It is a truth totally unacknowledged by human beings that Professor of Linguistics and Word Mismanagement Rosa Benchez hates her own name.It is for this reason, she is keen to get married.Unfortunately ,her only suitor is Charlie Blogge. the well known TV biology expert
Does Rosa Blogge sound any better, she asked her friend Amy Panicker.
I find it hard to judge ,Amy answered. Ar least it’s not Bloggess.But there is another answer.
Rosa and her cat Lucy looked up expectantly.
Go on tell us!
Change your first name.Have you got any other name besides Rosa? Don’t say Wooden or Iron,I beg you.
Rosa looked surprised.
In a way that is harder emotionally,she began, because that’s what all my friends and family call me
They must have been dim to call you Rosa,Amy cried.
Don’t say that.Who wants to be compared to a lightbulb?
Well ,who wants to be compared to rows of benches? Amy retorted.
Well.grandad was called I.Ron Benchez.Rosa shouted.He was from the USA.
Thank God ,he is not the President,Amy smiled
I think that is stupid.The name of the person has no bearing on how they can lead a government.
Well,how about Trump? Is it a real name or did they pick it from knowing the word trump from card games,Amy asked quietly
I have no idea,said Rosa.I shall look it up now
Wow, you have a new iphone!
Charlie gave it to me,Rosa confessed shyly blushing dark pink
You had better check whether he is tracking you, Amy told her anxiously.You never know what men will do nowadays.
But can’t you track folk on Samsungs or Nokia Lumias? said Rosa in her mellow voice.
I don’t think it is very romantic to give a lady a smartphone instead of some jewellery,Amy cried.You can sell jewellery but who wants a second-hand iphone.
As a matter of fact ,some old Nokias from the 90’s are now worth a few hundred pounds
So if you have one keep it unless your home is already overflowing with collections of pens,watches old newspapers and cats like my friend Percival’s,Rosa retorted.
Percival? what is his last name?
Joyce.Rosa whispered.He is related to the writer.
Rosa Joyce…. how does that sound?
Well as you know any word you keep repeating begins to sound odd and the same is true of names.Even the nicest name like Katherine With-Doubt begins to sound odd when delivery men ask you for it.
Are you with doubt? one had asked her, she told me
Who is without doubt she had replied courteously.
Who indeed said the clever Polish doctor working in the UK delivering stuff for AAmazing,dot com.He lives round the corner:Thom Without-Doubt
Thank God you are not called that.
Amy asked Rosa if she could make a pot of tea.They sat in the old orange walled kitchen eating cream crackers and cheese and sipping hot tea.
Lucy was eating some cat biscuits and suddenly had a good idea
Why don’t you and I swap names, she mewed to Rosa with a loving smile.
Do you know,said Rosa,I am so fed up with names I shall change mine to a number if we carry on like this
Do you think 678 Benches sounds any better,giggled Amy.
I was thinking more of a name like Platonic form or pyramid
How does Platonic Benchez sound. Or Platonic Blogge?
And so ask all of us.
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