How are you feeling,the doctor asked plaintively

With my senses,I replied jocosely

No,I mean how is your body? he extrapolated.

You can see it better than me,I informed him 

as I got on to the couch.

But I can't feel it,he said languidly.

I shall permit you to feel it

I said in a kindly ruin of my  voice

He pressed my abdomen,but not with  a hot iron luckily

Owzat,I shouted politely.Not out yet

He said ,I think your organ is inflamed.

That is very rude,I told him with a garbled smile

I mean your bladder, he riposted   fluently

Has  it ever crossed your mind that we only  know  we have bladders

 because we read that in a book. I said in a puzzled tone.

Unless you are a surgeon,I continued courteously

We can see it on a scan, he said charmingly.

Well ,we  only have the word of a technician,I said logically

.
So are you telling me you don't believe you have a bladder

 he said with a Freudian  dignity

 only matched by that of a million psychoanalysts across the world.

I'll accept it as a hypothesis I said.

All that water must be stored somewhere though

 in  many older folk it is in their ankles,I resumed.

And now and then  people get water on the brain.

How does that get out? I enquired  in my intriguingly female tones.

I think we'll leave it there,he said.

That's no good.How about sticking a  canula into my brain 

to drain it,I suggested cleverly

Not on  the NHS,he called from behind his  screen

So  you want me to pay. I think I'll go home and do it myself,

I said rudely

Thank God, he screamed.

No,you thank him I said.I am phoning for a cab.

Can you give me a canula or two

If you don't leave I'll give you

 more than a canula he said vivaciously

What else is on offer, I demanded.

Knives,   anaesthetics,disinfectant?

He left the room and I never saw him again.

Just as we were getting on so well.

If it had been Leap Year 

I might even have proposed though what I have no idea.

Still I had no need for antibiotics which was a  blessing.

I called for a cab.got out opposite my house,slipped into gutter.

It gives one a new perspective although 

it was a mite unfortunate that a car was coming round the bend quite rapidly.

So It's goodbye from me.

You can pray to me unless you are a Protestant or are Jewish.

Tough luck.Just call me Saint from now on.

And so bray all of us