He promised to kiss me and love me and vacuum me

img_0034Oh dear what can the matter be
We  sometimes  hate our own family
Oh,dear send for new batteries
My husband is flat with despair.

Oh,dear what can the matter be
Ambivalence strains all the flattery
Oh,dear, drive to the cattery
Alfred has lost all his hair.

He promised to   lie on my lap until Saturday
He promised to eat his food   and to chat to me
He promised to kiss me and love me and vacuum me
I’ll  have a hot bath   and prepare.

Freud says that all relationships are ambivalent.We hate those we love sometimes.It is  normal in the sense that we are vulnerable to them.But we live with it

But if my brain needs waking up



Oh,horticultural college, you have charm
To gray old souls your roses are a balm
But it I need a stimulant
To Tottenham Hotspurs I’ll be sent
To see the players break each other’s arms”

O gardens fair ,O trees with bark that gleams
O roses red, your scent is full of schemes
But if my brain needs waking up
I’ll burn the ordnance survey map
Nothing ever is  just what it seems.

O cafeteria , what a  terrace fair
While others eat I chew off my own hair
But when my sister  takes a snap
She makes me hug some sweet  tall chap
‘Tis her husband,Isee  he loves the pair.!


If he were Muslim he might have two wives
One to kiss and one to  polish leaves
But as we are all  Anglicans
Bigamy is not  our plan
We’d like to know if   we can preconceive

Oh,horticulture  is a lovesome art
Which gives us flowers with which to decorate
But once a week
We have  a peek
And  see old men   play rounders with their darts.


Oh,rapidly  the summer  darts away
So we must enjoy  a flower while it’s here
Otherwise ,it’s brandy,guys
It may make you randy,guys
The main thing is that we enjoy the play