Stan’s chair collapses

DSCF0228 2

“Your eyes are like deep pools in the  Indonesian ocean” Stan murmured into Annie’s ear.He gently took hold of her and pulled her down onto his knee.
Just as he did that, his new Habitat chair collapsed and they  fell onto the floor.,the chair in many  bits around them like a jigsaw puzzle in three dimenstions,
Have you got your smartphone,my sweetheart “he whispered romantically
“I think you’ll have to ring 999.
“OK,my  angel” Annie prattled,
” Operator,it’s my lover’s chair .It keeps collapsing;can we bring into A and E to be fixed?Well he can’t get into to bed anymore so we really need this”
Just then a pebble hit the window,it was his wife coming back from Sainsburys” She’s lost her keys in her book bag yet again
Oh,wonderful,just at the right moment” he shouted,”Hello,Mary,here is Annie,she’s a chair surgeon!”
“Oh,that’s good”,Mary muttered enigmatically.
” Do you ever  fix beds?”
“Why do you ask?” Annie cried sweetly
“Well, ours is always collapsing’it’s  yet another of life’s mysteries.”
“Why,you are so beautiful, Mary.You are mesmerising.Come and show me your bed.We’ll leave Stan here.He’ll soon be in that ambulance”
“Annie,your eyes are like deep salty pools in the Dead Sea .”
“Have you both been  on the same  creative writing course?” Mary spouted satirically.
“I aim for satisfaction.Here’s my gun.I’m going to shoot you” Annie called
“But we have no guns in the UK” Mary whispered under her breath
“Well you have now.” Annie said logically.
Just then the emergency ambulance arrived with its siren scaring the cats nearby but not Emile as he heard it so many times.
“OK. which chair is it this time” the trisexual  paramedic  Dave enquired  foxily.
“Have you ever thought of making it in the bath?We’re getting really worried about you in Casualty,at your age.”
“Worry no more” Anne screamed emphatically, firing the gun repeatedly into the chair’s remains.
“I’ll make sure he never sits in it again.And now Habitat’s gone bust,he can’t buy another.'”
“Cheers ,mate!”whispered the paramedic dramatically.
“Has anyone ever told you,your eyes are like deep pools in the  Sea of Tralee”.
“Oh,no not another one!”Anne moaned tentatively,”You need to raise your whole game,not just change the name of the sea”
“You’re so intelligent too,lady.Can you teach me truly creative writing?” He yelled quietly,by the way I am bisexual.
” What a funny name.Come upstairs” she murmured in reply, “and we’ll see what sea we can see up there,tonight”.
“Thank you so much and please send me home in a stamped addressed envelope when you are done with me.” he responded quixotically
“Whatever” she sighed spontaneously.”Let’s get on with it or you’ll be here all night”
Does it matter?  he called.”I am paid by the flower”
Emile who had hidden in the wardrobe was disappointed that the light went out as he hoped to take a photo.
And so did all of us

Coping with peeling verse

Metaphor.. my meat and drink.
Although I’m known for quaffing ink.
I need to play with words on line.
But writing proper poems takes time.
And I have no time to waste,
so I write by copy and paste.
A line from Donne a line from Blake,
George Herbert  who-for goodness sake!
A bit of Shakespeare tossed and turned,
My poetry salads don’t yet earn.
Into the breach we’ll go dear friends
The Waste Land never seems to end.
To be or not to BBC ?
Shall we sometimes disagree?
Chaucer I have not yet read.
Is it good when one’s in bed?
Look,stranger,on this island now,
It’s illegal  for you to milk my cow.
And ,also, we do not roast  our geese.
Even when we have a feast.
Turning and turning in the gyre,
I think that church has got two spires.
The lake at Innisfree’s still there.
Is that where the Queen said prayers?
Who’d have thunk that Hughes and Plath
Never signed  their autographs.
I like her poem about a mirror.
Some of them are full of horror.
Lay your sleeping head, my love,
On a brick or turtle dove.
I’m too tired to kiss you now,
I’ll massage your back  and then I’ll bow.
The bed’s too small for all of us
I suggest Someone tries the bath.
If you put a duvet in
I believe  you are your twin
When did Herriot plough the fields?
Was Dover Beach where my skin peeled?
I forgot to put my sunscreen on,
Off they all go one by one.

Try cheese scones and  buttered frogs
My old man’s gone to the Gods.

A sailing boat


p1000311The lamp in outline is a sailing boat
When I draw it in two dimensions on the page
On it I travel to my  furthest thought.

On  jewelled Sea in blueness deep I float
Waiting for the guide I have engaged
The lamp in outline is a sailing boat

Where is  he whose  poety I quote?
Vanished,gone and left me in his rage
Shall  I  travel to my  furthest thought?

Talents and  rich appetites I sought
To make a  pattern on my empty page
The lamp in outline is a sailing boat

So  much fantasy, such  dreams I wrote
To find the self which had been kept  encaged
The lamp in outline is a sailing boat
On it I travel to my  furthest thought.

The cello has a tender singing voice

The cello has a tender singing voice
Allows the feelings which we cannot say.
Among composers  Bach might be our choice
The cello sings   rich lyrics  with her voice.
Rostropovich, Proms ;  he played, of course.
Soviet armies  marched, the Czechs were   dazed.
The cello has a sorrowing truthful voice;
Speaks our feelings when we cannot pray.