Please do not die when you’ve just had clean sheets on your bed
We’ll leave the dirty ones on then
Free death now!
You must lie flat in the Cardiac Unit
So we can’t lie upright?
Can the upright lie?
Breakfast is a cornflake
Ghosts sometimes have mobile homes.Ignore them
I need someone in my bed
It’s not yours.You are dead.
I don’t believe it!
Ask for a certificate then
A deaf certificate?
The PM is fond of women>Please wear dressing gowns when he pays a visit
And when I pay a visit?
Please do not mention hair when Mrs X is near your bed
Please pray silently.Respect atheism tonight
They’ll be having Services soon with their own organ
We do not need the News blasted from your phone
Why have the weather forecast on when you are dyinlg,
Just a bad habit, as Thomas Aquinas said
When the PM arrives we will all cry in one voice Alleluya
Is she God now?
When he leaves, shout it twice
Why can’t the doctor do it,we are sick
So are the doctors.How do they feel?
Quite nice,I have found.
Don’t touch them!
Well, they touched me first
That was for your angiogram
I prefer a radiogram
Think of your Art.
Chalk it up to experience
On a blackboard?
It’s a metaphor
The bell tolls