I went to a convent school when I was 11 and I barely survived emotionally leaving at the edge of 18 mute and miserable. And that is an understatement
I will give examples and you will find shard to believe
Most of the nuns did not like me but I have no idea why except that when I was in the lower forms I was generally top of the class and sometimes even top in every subject. But I was not expecting this nor was I proud of it. I was keen on music and having lesson are the two instruments free because h thought to be very talented. I. cared much more about that one about the academic subjects
So when the end of my first year I came first of 106 girls . One of them said to me I am very surprised that you are top because you do not look at all intelligent I didn’t know what to make of this, it was not necessary to say that to me because I was not very confident anyway
We were poor so I was made to take a second hand blazer during morning assembly I had to approach the headmistress ask her in front of the school permission to keep this louder. I that was one of the worst experiences of my life because I was very quiet shy and felt very embarrassed about my shabby clothing.
Still in early years I had friends and was able to talk to them and have fun with them time went on this week a more difficult, but one thing that really su
Shocks me is how frightened I was of nuns and any the teachers.
I had an exercise book with graph paper in it and I had drawn a beautiful graph on the back page which I read about in a book.
Fast forward and I’m in the sixth form studying double maths and physics for A level. I had found a safer world. To live in
One day the teacher was returning homework which I had done in the front of the exercise group but when she was going to lyrics back to me she owned it at the wrong end and saw the beautiful graph which I had illegally drawn in the exercise book paid for by the school.
When I saw her looking I was afraid but also felt ashamed in a total manner. I feel disturbed remembering that and how I felt I had no protection from the nuns and really teachets and ultimately since it was a very strict Catholic l protection from the savage god we worshipped it was so cruel the he required the murder of his son before he could forgive us for our sins.
The teacher looked at my graph and said It was beautiful. What a relief. But I don’t understand why I was so terrified maybe it was because I used to be beaten with a leather belt from t when I was 4 years old. Maybe I was traumatised
10 years later I heard one of the nuns had been killed in a road açcident,
I was glad. I’m afraid that I’m still glad because she was the worst one and was not suitable to deal with young girls.
How my heart sings 