I dreamed I was not Catholic last night
I was in a church,unlit by candlelight
The clergyman had got no vestments on
She gave an long and Lutheran sermon
We had no Consecration then at all
But later we had Tizer and played ball
Apparently we have Communion now and then
After an extremely lengthy and Lutheran sermon
We don’t kneel in a Confessional and admit
We kicked our little brother in the butt
So we have got no penance then to come
After an extremely lengthy, long and Lutheran sermon
We sang these great old hymns by Bunyan
I loved them each and every single one.
But where had all the ceremonial gone?
Instead it’s extremely lengthy, long and boring Lutheran sermon.
We mayn’t pray to Jude for hopeless cause
Nor ask Our Lady’s aid from hellish maws
We speak direct to God when we feel glum
On a stunning, Lutheran smartphone .
So God must have got alot pairs of ears;
Lots of eyes to weep about what he hears
He can’t have any helpers, even nuns;
What an extremely lengthy, long and trying carry on.
I woke up in the middle of the dream
And gave a loud and highly penetrating scream
My boyfriend said he knew sex was a sin
He rang St Francis on his mobile phone
Now I go to Mass on weekdays if I can
Although I’m so unattractive I’ve been banned
But any ritual is really better than
That extremely lengthy, long and tedious,boring Lutheran Protestant, learned,unexciting , super superfluous sermon.