Day: Dec 19, 2022
Your face has faded but you are still there
The face that was familiar is no more
The image in my mind has faded now
You seem as distant as a falling star.
When you died,I felt my own heart tear.
If such pain and suffering allowed?
The face that was familiar is no more.
Can the well of tears help the repair
Who will help me comfort me somehow?
You seem as distant as a falling star
Let the mourning people hear your prayer.
Help them from the lake in case they drown
The face that was familiar is no more.
In Blythburgh church we saw the angels stare.
Lift me up or I shall see them frown
As icy cold as any falling star
Before the Lord all beings need to bow.
I feel with love my heart is well endowed.
The face that was familiar is no more.
I will look up up.and see the host of stars.
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The face that was familiar
The face that was familiar is no more.
The world we made seems empty and remote.
I do not feel the love I felt before.
I’m homeless world-less, comfortless at core
Wandering like the Jews with death ripped coats.
The face that was familiar is no more
Why can this man’s life not be restored?
I cannot eat, a lump has blocked my throat
I do not feel the love I felt before.
In my nightmares, I look for a door.
Or I search the lake from my small boat
That face that was familiar is no more
I beg for grace like some abandoned whore.
That time itself evaporates is gross.
I do not feel the love I felt before
The well is empty,like my husband’s clothes.
When they are gone, what can I then propose?
The face that was familiar is no more.
The love I lost can never be restored.
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Wider than a star
The mind is deeper than a well and wider than a star
I lose myself in waters deep ,symbolic ,sweet and clear
I rest embraced by this love and wish for nothing more
I dream I walk in meadows sweet
The daisies in my hair
The heart has reasons and desires as if it were a mind
If it’s soft as cashmere wool then it will remain kind
Yet if it’s hard then it may crack and we will split ,divide
I dream I walk by river fleet
With heart and mind combined
The other self that dwells alone in privacy divine
Needs sacred care and sweet respect and peace from what’s malign
The inner nature of us all is given and then transformed
I dream I walk on long white sands
By seas blue crystalline.
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I pushed my sisters up our quiet street
I remember riding on his back
It was summer; I was only two
He had an old tweed jacket full of smoke
Woodbines, they would probably kill you too
Walking with my sister in her pram
Mam looked as happy as a summer lark
My brothers were pretending to be soldiers
We walked along, right into the deep dark
A few years later Dad was sat there crying
They never told me he was very bad
Eight years old, I pushed the baby
My sister walked while clutching at my side
I was worried Grandad would be angry
Seeing us three coming up the lane
We usually went there only at the weekend
On, on, on, went my brain
Going back home it was the evening
The sun had gone ,time to go to bed
I pushed my little sisters up our street
Auntie told me Daddy was now dead
No more rides on his thin shoulder
No more walking in the flowery park
Only the anguish of our feelings
Only children weeping in the dark
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Satan for dinner
Are you a Catholic?
No I’m just practising.
Are you a born Protestant?
I’ve not been reborn yet.
Do you believe in rites?
Please put that in writing
Are you superstitious?
Give me the salt to throw over my left shoulder.
Is the left one right?
That’s what my Irish grandmother used to do.
When she broke the mirror?
Yes in case Satan was inside it.
Why, are you going to eat him ?
It’s a new economy Christmas dinner
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Christmas exercise
Don’t forget to shake vigorously before you put your potatoes into the oven. Alternatively tremble
Make sure you are at least a foot away from the cooker before you move
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Where we slept, my sister oh my child
In our double bed, mi dad had died
Mammy slept w’t baby, a release
Now I slept, mi sister by mi side
A wooden frame, flock mattress where I lied
Making up long stories for mi sis.
In the double bed, owa dad had died
Up the stairs, we smelled the bacon fried
All the food was cloaked with grief and grease
And I slept mi sister by mi side
I was trapped by guilt don’t you deride
I disobeyed mi daddy, now deceased
In the double bed, he thought to die
He punished me, I never even cried
We had no phone to send for the police
Did I sleep mi sister by mi side?
He wore a green tweed jacket and a tie
While his overalls dried hanging underline
In our double bed where daddy died
We kids both slept, my sister, oh my child
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Whom I myself shall see: my own eyes, not another’s
June 30th 2015 : Funeral of my husband
My sister died unexpectedly 10 years ago.
Pray for the dead…. it can’t do any harm
I Know That My Vindicator Lives: Job 19:1, 23-27
A reading from the book of Job
Then Job answered and said: Oh, would that my words were written down! Would that they were inscribed in a record: that with an iron chisel and with lead they were cut in the rock forever! But as for me, I know that my Vindicator lives, and that he will at last stand forth upon the dust; whom I myself shall see: my own eyes, not another’s, shall behold him, and from my flesh I shall see God; my inmost being is consumed with longing
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Christmas solitude
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/23/opinion/christmas-holidays-alone-covid.html
Few can better understand the challenge of self-love better than the orphaned and disowned. I belong to that club. My mother and father both abandoned me in my teens. As an only child, with no family in the United States, I endured the first of many solo Christmases my senior year of high school.
When you are forced to spend a holiday by yourself, the first inclination is often to ignore the holiday entirely. For years, I employed this strategy. I didn’t leave my home, because I didn’t want to see lights and decorations. Instead, I worked through the holidays and maybe watched some DVDs (no festive commercials to endure). But I always eventually learned: The more you try to push the festivities away, the more they’ll haunt you, like mischievous specters, until eventually you find yourself at 2 a.m. listening to Death Cab’s “Someday You Will be Loved.”
My first succssful holiday was an Easter. I went with the Sunday paper to a sushi buffet, and sat reading and munching on unagi for the entire afternoon. It felt ridiculous and self-indulgent, and that grandiosity was just big enough to shake off my grief over lost childhood traditions. Maybe, I thought, if I embraced the holidays but twisted them into something inventive and entirely my own, I could enjoy them on my own terms.
One Christmas Eve, I went to a fancy restaurant in my neighborhood that I couldn’t really afford but had always wanted to try. I ordered osso buco and ate it slowly, relishing it. The owner dropped by my table and asked why I was eating alone. I told him I didn’t have anyone to celebrate with, so he poured me a glass of wine and sat down. He said he didn’t have anyone to celebrate with, either. He’d been persecuted as an Alevi Kurd living in Turkey, so he fled to the United States, where he learned to cook Italian food and eventually opened his own restaurant. We swapped stories
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Tips For Keeping The Elderly Warm In Winter | Wessex Care
For venturing outside, ensure that your relative wraps up warm in gloves, a scarf and hat. Elderly people should change out of damp or wet clothes immediately to prevent extreme coldness or even hypothermia.
Socks and slippers are essential for keeping feet warm, and a blanket over the legs can be used for some extra heat if necessary. If your relative suffers with coldness, electric blankets and hot water bottles can be a great investment to provide some additional warmth at night.
