Follow my tablet

When Moses felt ill he went back up the mountain and asked God for another tablet.

Many are called and a few are open
God’ s cosy people.
God may love but can we see?


Have you all swallowed your tablets, the nurse asked?
Mine is 10 inch, cried Joe the new patient in the Unit
Stop exaggerating, the nurse answered immoderately
You should say pills, said Bill educationally
That won’t change its size,will it, Joe said nastily?
I’ll have to break it into pieces.Nurse, get me a hammer!
Just a minute, what are you here for, she said nosily?
To know,serve, and love God, Joe whispered
Well, maybe you should be in the psychiatric unit
Is it easier knowing God in there, Joe murmured?
No.But they will give you some tablets so you will look out instead of in
My tablet is a Samsung, he told her confidently
But if I have to eat it, can I have some salt and pepper, he demanded sensibly?
Why, she wondered ,like Plato and Socrates once did?
To put on the chips, he informed her truthfully
They were made in Israel, she lied defiantly
Will they be hot? he said scientifically
They will when I have got my hands on that bloody tablet, she shrieked
Shut up he said rudely
Calm down.Moses didn’t have hysterics round for dinner, she hinted politely
Who did he have, asked the patient?
A wife and children as was usual
I’d prefer a hysterical blonde lady, he thought outloud
Why? she said despondently
She won’t eat my chips and I am hungry for food and then love
Would you like tea, bread and butter, she said sarcastically?
For you,I’d like anything, he said adoringly
My blog, she asked?
Is that like a God for the heathen?
Well, some may agree, she said tersely
And the others, he asked?
They stay neutral mostly
Like my cat, he enquired
Is he transgender, she said correctly
What’s this, the Oxford Entrance,he said being ironical
No, that’s the other way. she admitted
Lead me, lead me gentle Saviour, he replied as he fell asleeep

Wits of stone

Photo0335 2

By Kate
L.Wittgenstein- Hell, wits of stone?
Bertrand Russell- Hairbands Rustle >Women tussle
A N Whitehead- Uninvited; And was blighted.
Principia Mathematica—Pin chips here where’s your laughter?@aaa alphabetically.Computer spam-kingKurt Godel–Clot burbles.Hurt hurdles;Flirt Girdles
David Hilbert- Raves of Hell -Flirt
Isaac Newton-Raise the Roofing.Fry Zack Croutons
Leibniz- Fried nits.Delight Fritz
Hooke’s Laws of Motion–Book calls for Emotion
Archimedes-Ark of freebies.Hark! He needs Ease
Edward Elgar -Led towards Hell Far
Queen Victoria- Keen to pore over me.
Benjamin Disraeli—- Send men to Australia. Clench them in Fizz, really
Bedlam disables you.
Clement Attlee-Repent after me.Lemons at sea.Pennants can Wee.
Winston Churchill—Won some Birch Bill.
Stephen Hawkings- see any parking? Raving hawk kills.

The new postman

Stan inwas brushing his sturdy tomcat Emile by the front window when he saw the postman coming up the path.This was a surprise as it was eight o’clock in the evening,though it was still quite light.He opened the door.
Goodness me,they are making you work hard” he murmured sympathetically to the weary looking postman.
Well,if I don’t do what they want there are 2.5 million unemployed people out there all seeking work” he said in a deep, guttural voice.
I like your beard,cried Emile.And your moustache.
Do you like my new hat, asked the postman politely.
Yes,very much said the little cat.
Well,I have to wear it as I am a Conservative Jew.
I have never been quite sure what a Conservative Jew is,said Stan
And I have never been sure why the Church of England is international,replied the tired man wearily
Neither have I said Stan.It seems illogical.
He gave the postman some tea in a paper cup so he could drink it before he went any further.
Can I use your bathroom,he called to Stan who was admiring a few early daffodils.
Of course you can… it’s just at the top of the stairs.
When Arthur the postman came out he thanked Stan
Nowadays since all the public conveniences are no longer there it’s hard to find a lavatory and when you work a 12 hour day you do get to need a leak.
Yes,said Stan.I frequently have people using the loo…. or failing that you can go behind the hedge.
Just like me,thought Emile.I often go behind the hedge.I also take lady cats right to the back of the hedge for the purpose of lovemaking.
Have you ever made love under a hedge,Emile asked Arthur.
Or is it forbidden by your Mosaic Law?
Well,said Arthur,we can make love anywhere at all.But we have to be sure it is real love and not just us pretending to love someone in order to get something out of them.
That seems wise,said Stan.You have an ethical code,of course,
Yes,I also  did do a lot of studying till I lost my job as a University lecturer and had to work as a postman.But it does give me time to meditate.
And what is your advice to other humans,purred Emile.
Well,I’ll just offer you one thought,Don’t exploit others for self gratification and if you feel suicidal please tell someone or phone the Samaritans.
And if you do go ahead I advise you to burn your diaries,letters and other private writing…look at poor Sylvia Plath,How could she have been so stupid.Everything she ever wrote,even on the paper napkin at dinner was collected and published by her almost ex-husband.We seem to know more about her than anyone who ever lived.
You have a good point there,said Stan.
I work for the Samaritans one day a week and Emile sits by me and purrs to

to keep me happy.
You seem a good man,said Arthur.T he disappeared… leaving just a smile in the air like the Chesire Cat.
Oh,my sweet Lord,Stan murmured.Was that who I think?
Yes,said Emile.I saw the heavenly host behind him singing
Why did he call here?
We’ll just have to wait and see… but I shall cut up my diary tomorrow and delete my journal from the computer.I don’t want to cause scandal after I die.
No,said Emile,just cause scandal while you are alive by taking yet another mistress.
You little devil,Said Stan
And then Stan and Emile both chuckled as they went back into the house.And Stan resumed brushing Emile and mused over the visitation whilst forgetting he had not cooked the dinner for his hardworking wife Mary.Luckily Mary is very patient because she loves him.

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God have mercy as the devil can’t

In the bitter depths of winter night
Boil the kettle, lose your human rights
If you feel depressed then eat our bread
It will remove the skull from off your head

Are you feeling lonesome in the crowd?
Buy our lipstick then men will be cowed
Did you think ceramic hobs were best?
Come to us and have your IQ blessed

I want a pan for halogen hot plates
I’d ask the cat but it’s out on a date
I need to boil my head and clean my feet
I guess that I ain’t smelling very sweet

Does Confession really help the damned?
God have mercy as the Devil can’t

Mystic poetry

From “Elusive Elements in Practice (Psychology, Psychoanalysis & Psychotherapy Book 3)” by Bernardine Bishop, Angela Foster, Josephine Klein, Victoria O’Connell

“”Grant, I may not like puddle lie In a corrupt security, Where, if a traveller water crave, He finds it dead, and in a grave; But as this restless, vocal spring All day and night doth run, and sing, And, though here born, yet is acquainted Elsewhere, and flowing keeps untainted; So let me all my busy age In thy free services engage …” Vaughan, “The Dawning”, 1622-1695″

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\Now, do I believe that poems change persons? Yes. Do I believe they change people? No. I’m interested in the effects poets like Adrienne Rich and Allen Ginsberg began to have on culture over time, but I don’t know that I can quantify that other than to say that reading Rich’s books helped me understand my thinking was

What is inspiration?

Inspiration is always more active than mere appreciation. There’s a thrilling feeling of elevation, a burst of energy, an awareness of enlarged possibilities. The person in the grip of inspiration has received, as if by magic, some new perception, some holistic understanding, along with the feeling that she is capable of more than she thought.