Christmas time is very hard
if from the ale house we are barred
So do not lose your head and swear.
Or they will ban you fair and square.
You can’t say kindly” go to hell”
Nor shout f*** off at little Nell.
We were told that men could shout
When no women were about.
But now the women swear as well
I hear them screaming on Scafell.
It’s for the best to hold your tongue
And in secret sing your song.
All the angels will console
When you are driven up the pole.
But if you are the one it causes pain.
You will have to take the blame
And remember it is kind to phone
Those friends who are living all alone
Why not take them to the Thames.
If they fall in their sorrow ends.
Otherwise just take them in
Let them stay and you can sin.