Do not scream

Christmas time is very hard

if from the ale house we are barred

So do not lose your head and swear.

Or they will ban you fair and square.

You can’t say kindly” go to hell”

Nor shout f*** off at little Nell.

We were told that men could shout

When no women were about.

But now the women swear as well

I hear them screaming on Scafell.

It’s for the best to hold your tongue

And in secret sing your song.

All the angels will console

When you are driven up the pole.

But if you are the one it causes pain.

You will have to take the blame

And remember it is kind to phone

Those friends who are living all alone

Why not take them to the Thames.

If they fall in their sorrow ends.

Otherwise just take them in

Let them stay and you can sin.