Leaking into earth

My boundaries broken, leaks my soul to earth

Disdained by helpers out flies my own worth

My door won’t close,my body is unsafe

Being cleaned by others seems like rape

No time is free for they come when they will

Losing one’s autonomy can kill

To break into the sacred heart brings death

Destroying or debasing with cold wrath

Going mad

While I have been in hospital I have found some of tm the staff respond to patients in a manner described by R D Làing in his book The Divided Self.

I could hear someone crying every evening for several hours

I could not decide if it was a baby, The wailing was like a baby’s but the larynx was too powerful, I eventually found it was patients with dementia..

Before that I was told I was imagining it I was afraid wondering if my distress was making me sad and I was projecting it into someone else.

It is sad and I feel it but that is better than being told you are round the bend

Then people I was phoning asked me who it was.So it was they could hear it

The crying has been heard by me now in 3 places.i find it is the same strange sound Exactly the same whoever they are It is not personalised.It may be a default sound I feel their grief. I have worked with the elderly but I have never heard this sound before I notice the average age of people in these places is much older than when I am spent my vacations working in hospitals and homes.,It is tragic