THE MEMORY LASTS

midsummer days evoke the trancelike past
where children played in joyous, daisied fields
with buttercups so bright the memory lasts
a freedom that our conscious growth will steal.

those stones and leaves and many coloured flowers
were gathered into images that glow
yet later we forget those treasured hours
when for a while we lived in life’s deep flow

we did not look and see,but felt at one
we lived as did the birds high in the trees
now we write , experiencing has gone
we cannot live like flowers filled with bright bees

to lose ourselves in nature is a joy
which to our adult selves we must restore

Why did Jesus have no shoes

Why did Jesus have no shoes?
He had sent his soles to be heeled.

Why did Jesus not wear trousers?
Jewish tailoring had not got that far 2,000 years ago.

P1000194 4

Did Jesus drive a car?
Drive a car what?

Did Jesus write letters?
They had no Royal Mail then and soon we shan’t either.

Why did Jesus go to a comprehensive school?
He wanted to widen his appeal.

Did Jesus iron his clothes?
It was before the Iron Age.

Am I sure I’ll go to heaven?
Stop going to sex shops and wearing red bras and you should be ok
How about this atom bomb here in my pocket?
Please, let it drop,I beg you

Marry a domino




Why did the Iraq War begin in 2004?
Because the Iraq Goverment had made too many Mass Suggestions
Because George Bush wanted to play with his toy boys




Why did WW1 start?
A wrong turning in a taxi
They forgot about aeroplanes


How about WW2?
Because Hitler was suicidal
Because there were not enough jobs
The home fires stopped burning
WW1 never ended
It does young men good to learn how to behave
Because Europe wanted to commit suicide
Then Japan did

Why did Edward the 8th abdicate?
His mother didn’t like his beloved.
Vice versa.
He wanted to marry a domino
He wanted to commit a terror
He was impotent
He was impatient
None of the above?

A Faux Happy New Year

Do you like my new coat,Annie asked Mary?
Ye Gods, where have you got that from?
I got in online in a salea
The shoulders are too wide for you so the sleeves cover your hands completely
Well, it did say “relaxed fit” and ” dropped shoulders” and I won’t need gloves
You look terrible in it.It’s like an oversized tweed balloon and it’s very long
I don’t mind long
You look as if you are pregnant with triplets

Well, since I murdered my husband I’ve had no man in my bed.
How about in the shed?<
Mind your own business.I am not with child
I was just saying how you look that’s all
Just saying!Where is your coat from?
Marks and Spencers
Does it have a touch of wool?
No, it said:with wool
And was it?
Yes, there was a ball of wool in the pocket
Are you sure it’s not “faux wool” ?
Where’s that from?
Faux sheep.
What are they?
Dogs with acrylic coats
Do they alter their genes?
No, just their faux jeans
What are faux jeans?

The opposite of real jeans
And how can we tell the difference?
You need Faith like when you believe a piece of bread is turned into God.
I agree with that
So why don’t you go to church?
There’s only a faux Church here
So it looks like a Church but it is not?
Yes, they believe in Quaternity
Four persons in one God?
Or four gods in one person

Or are they demons?
Yes, they crossed the Channel in a bath
Did the police find them?
Not as far as I glow.