What’s so funny?

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Eating your own eggs is not allowed in this cafe
Beach:rescuers will be persecuted
Old people, please die slowly in town
Please fall off another cliff.This is too low.
What is a mortal tin?
Stop paying in the Cathedral
Please dye your hair before breakfast as drips may cause offence 
The village green is brown
We are short of torture.Do not take a bath till you are going home
Does God have a mouth?
Draughts expected, no  recent pain
Please contrive  well on main road
Cognitive  homework for teens  banned
No taps should run in this motel
En suites in C major
Do read music if able
Do not gnaw your own bare hands.We have gravy