What to “wear” in “January”



Having studied “What to wear in January” in the Guardian,I can only afford the woollen hat
So I shall

1 Wear a  calf  length woollen   coat bought in 2005 in  a Sale over  whatever  clothes
I have kept  moths from eating


2 Wear a Gore Tex hooded and quilted parka from TK Maxx in 2007 for £49.99 with a pair of culottes…..pickled in vinegar.

3.Wear 10 wool vests under a coat “with a hint of wool”  and  my pyjamas
” with a hint “of   ” cotton”

4 An old fleece  dressing gown  from the Independent with my husband’s socks and shoes.

5 Grow my hair and wear a throw or ten

Your dinner menu for next week

man wearing black waistcoat and white tank tops standing near a mural
Photo by XU CHEN on Pexels.com


Soup of the Prey
Onion Croup
Chicken Froth
Vegetarian Bean  Duped
Ma’s Night Jelly
Avocado Prayers with Lemon and  Olives Boiled

Corned Beef Crash with Lash
Toad on the Whole
Fish with Lips
Sausages  Past
Beef Miaow and Ballad
Roast Pram and Hint Sauce
Holly Flowers Wheeze
Willy Fun Barmy

Iced Reams with Rasps
Mice Sudden and Fried Eyedrops
Fresh Foot Salad and Beans
Bilberry Fooled
Cart Blank Mange
Caramel Bastard
Tiger’s Pudding
Demo Scene Ah

Cheese and Whiskers
Toffee au lait
Free Bed and Butter thrown in
Chips with  Bolt  free  for all rages

Pot of Tea free  with any blood


Thank you to our customer  for praying now and again


Rolling marbles made of coloured glass  
Skipping rope and learning ancient rhymes
Filling inkwells , polishing the brass
With dip-in pens we  wrote  upon the lines

Licking out the bowl where cakes were mixed
Running wild with brothers  and their  friends
Wonder at those fireworks Daddy fixed
Catherine wheels  rotating, transcendent

Mother  smiling in her   flowery dress
Little rocking chairs  where we placed dolls
Daddy saying,Good night and God Bless
Teddies with no fur left, ask our Paul

Little sisters, brothers’ cricket balls
Hot coal fires where kettles used to boil
Old gas cookers, scabbed knees from our falls
Fuses blowing, making light bulbs   fail

In our bed , we whispered little tales
In the morning  feeling warm and dazed 
Love was  in the air, the baby wailed
Dad  so pleased with Mother’s  happy face

I see the cobblestones  all hot with sun
The Street Party , the Coronation