Why go to bed when I shall have to rise?

Yes, my husband is a changed man since he died
I have  dreamed  of him  so frequently  he hides
One night we knelt  down on the kitchen floor
With brillo pads in hand we scrubbed the door

Then we cleaned the oven for two hours
Death has given him  such odd new powers
He never speaks nor asks me what to do
Thank the Lord our fireplace  no flue

I see more of him  now  that he is dead
For every night these dreams  live in my head
He does not go to work nor write more books
He goes to Ealing and he wants to cook

Should I buy some ground in the church yard?
I have his ashes standing by the lard
In the fridge the suet   waits for me
To make an apple dumpling for our tea


Oh, yes he likes to know what I shall eat
He starved to death,his heart was far too weak

But yet he likes to see  me eat and sleep
And have a little   cat next to my feet

So far I do not love another man
I should become pan-sexual if I can
For then I need  not worry who to please
I hate to lose myself  but like to tease

Should my husband see   me in the bed
With another pillow and a head
He might feel unwanted  and be sad!
Yet he left me and now I’m feeling mad

Why  clean the oven, clean the kitchen sink?
Why change the plugs and make the cat drink ink?
Why have breakfast, why eat bread and jam?
Why cook bacon in the frying pan?

Why go to bed when I shall have to rise?
Why get up  when I shall later lie?
Why get washed when dirt  comes back again?
Why wash my hair and use a fountain pen?

I wonder why the floor is full of mud
And whether nature gave me enough blood.
Life is so precarious  use it well
Before we hear the  tolling of  the knell

 

 

A glowing screen

Our names wiill come up on a  glowing screen 
This is why we fund the NHS
Everyone  wants fame, to be a scream
But I  just want post traumatic  congress

I sit  down peering   furtively, bizarrely
Eventually I’m sitting there  alone
I knew I’d not fit in that  group of monsters
I am hyper vigilant  when I’m at home

Now I feel both desolate and rejected
They did not want my blood , it is too red
Then I found myself ejected
Without a lump of honey on my bread

The doctor wanted 20 different readings
At this rate it will take forever more
I see a mist of red,  my temper’s  rising
Help me to  the flexi- exit door

If this be love

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Image by Katherine

If this be love,then let me have your hate.
If you be true then let me hear your lies.
For this,  my heart, your message comes too late.
For now my need is  for the thoughtful wise.

 

If this be marriage,let me have divorce.
If this be holy,  hasten I to hell..
For love comes in its time without such force.
And of its message ?ho am I to tell?

 

If this be love,then let me dwell alone.
If this be love, I will be forever chaste.
Your  love is like a blow that breaks my bones
A love that lays your world and mine to waste

 

Real love can shake us to our inner core.

Of your self centered love. tell me no more