What to “wear” in “January”

 

 

Having studied “What to wear in January” in the Guardian,I can only afford the woollen hat
So I shall

1 Wear a  calf  length woollen   coat bought in 2005 in  a Sale over  whatever  clothes
I have kept  moths from eating

or

2 Wear a Gore Tex hooded and quilted parka from TK Maxx in 2007 for £49.99 with a pair of culottes…..pickled in vinegar.

3.Wear 10 wool vests under a coat “with a hint of wool”  and  my pyjamas
” with a hint “of   ” cotton”

4 An old fleece  dressing gown  from the Independent with my husband’s socks and shoes.

5 Grow my hair and wear a throw or ten

Your dinner menu for next week

man wearing black waistcoat and white tank tops standing near a mural
Photo by XU CHEN on Pexels.com

 

1
Soup of the Prey
Onion Croup
Chicken Froth
Vegetarian Bean  Duped
Ma’s Night Jelly
Avocado Prayers with Lemon and  Olives Boiled

2
Corned Beef Crash with Lash
Toad on the Whole
Fish with Lips
Sausages  Past
Beef Miaow and Ballad
Roast Pram and Hint Sauce
Holly Flowers Wheeze
Willy Fun Barmy

3
Iced Reams with Rasps
Mice Sudden and Fried Eyedrops
Fresh Foot Salad and Beans
Bilberry Fooled
Cart Blank Mange
Caramel Bastard
Tiger’s Pudding
Demo Scene Ah
4

Cheese and Whiskers
Toffee au lait
Free Bed and Butter thrown in
Chips with  Bolt  free  for all rages

Pot of Tea free  with any blood

 

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