I trod on the cat’s little toe

I am a very proud soul,
In my centre I have a large hole.
I have behaved very badly I know.
I once trod on the cat’s  only toe.
I did bite a goldfish in two.
There was nothing else there for my tea.
I scratched my own sister’s leg
And hit her with a  woodenclothes peg.
I know she could be irritating…
An expert at big sister baiting.
But that was no excuse
For binning her with the refuse.
I had so many scruples and doubts,
My confessions went on in long bouts.
The priest gave me more absolutions,
And lessons in elocution.
But you need no lessons from me
In how to brew pots of tea.
My penance has been prolonged
By a serpent with a double forked tongue.
I don’t remember the original sin,
So I’m not sure quite where to begin.
My whole life is a Passion,
And I’m always keen on high fashion.
I even saw Jesus one day.
He was so loving,what else can I say?
He came into my dark cavern
And invited me to ascend into heaven.
I know he was partial to sinners.
And was not so keen on life’s winners.
I am happy to be up here at last,
In fact it’s all happened too fast!
Now I wake up from my dream;
What extraordinary visions I’ve seen.
I liked my trip up above,
But the Earth is the place that I love.