Capitalism, Part 1

In a capitalist society, I think it’s very easy for human emotions to get all out of whack because everyone’s your competitor.

This starts right from when you’re babies. Before their offspring can even shit without crying, parents are already trying to give their little pink pudgeballs a “competitive edge.” Even fetuses aren’t safe from the melodramatic ramblings of Germans in powdered wigs who arn’t fooling anybody (suck it, Mozart!)

What ends up being sculpted into the head of these new life creatures is not so much  the overrated compositions of overgrown child piano prodigies (suck it, Mozart!), but rather these children are encumbered by a terrible competitive streak. This demon of Darwinism hangs on the shoulder of capitalists citizens like a very knowledgeable scientist who likes to start fights. I know this because I have one of my own. His provocations are unprovoked, loud, and never appropriate.

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This…