Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind.
After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.
 ¹² After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.
And after the fire. a still small voice

When Mary awoke, she felt the pain in her ear was worse.
I think must have an ear infection, she said to Annie while she was beating the doormat
on the wall to get the dust out.
Maybe you should stop cleaning and housework.You are releasing lots of dirt into the air
You are right,Mary replied.It’s just what Mother used to do
But did she have a hoover?
No, we had a Ewbank.
Get a cordless cleaner and it will suck the dust out for you
Thanks,Annie.I think I will go to the Urgent Care Centre.I don’t want an abscess in my ear to explode,as it were.
I’m sorry I can’t come but they have restrictions about how many visitors go in
Mary called a cab.Soon she was in the almost empty hospital.How much she would have liked a companion.Still, there is always God, wherever he has moved to.
A young woman with thick frizzy fair hair called her in and said that she was a GP
Mary was thinking how much better her pale lips would look with some lipstick
As for her clothes, it is best to remain silent.I suppose doctors can’t afford to go to M & S nowadays
Mary thought.
There is some wax in your ear, the doctor told Mary in a cruel manner
That’s good.I need a candle,Mary said inventively
Then the maskless doctor stood in front of Mary and peered into her mouth.
Shee pushed Mary’s crutch away and announced, there is nothing wrong with you
You must go out and make new connections, do things, go to Dances, play Bingo
Get up and walk, she advised , Jesus remarked in the Gospel l,though he also asked the cripple to take up his bed yet there were no beds left in the hospital
Oh,dear Mary said I am not wired myself as yet.My body is running on sunshine.
Do you think I should offer my supine body to the lonely old men living in the big houses near here?
I’m afraid I shall have to charge them.Do you have any free room with an elecric socket that I might use? And we’ll need a bed
The beds are all full, the doctor replied
Good grief, how many people are in these beds? Do they share?
Don’t ask me.It’s my coffee break, the young lady cried
Mary struggled up and went outside to call a cab
At least it’s been a change of scene yet as the cab drove her home, the pain began to get worse.
Is Mary going to make it?

To be concluded shortly
Funeral arrangements by the Coop. if needed

---

When we walked  I  held your hand in mine
We walked  round a small lake  to see geese fly
We  sauntered, in a rhythm were aligned

Time had stopped, the geese  in circles climbed
Then swept  onto the path as we came by
When we walked  I  held your hand in mine

Like a natural god, the geese divine
Landed  in their beauty with a sigh
We  entered  a new rhythm, were aligned

On the shining water  geese in line
Float and hunt for food with little cries
When we walked  I  held your hand in mine

 In our garden for your love I pine
I  cannot love another  till I die
We  sauntered, in a rhythm were aligned

God is on the mountain with his lyre
Singing of the beauty of desire
When we walked  I  warmed your hand in mine
We  lived attuned  to love  until you died

She looked in the pool by the little park gate
Second seeing  to find out her fate
By reflections of trees she was hypnotised.
Curiousity often seems wise
Oh,my dear sister what do you see there?
I hope it’s a vision fair.
What are these ships and the tugs and the tide
Where are the sailors who died?
This is an ocean and I’m in my boat
Come sisters dear,let us float.
We’ll never see Daddy again, ‘cos he’s here
and down her face travelled one tear.
I see him afar off, he’s meeting the Lord
There’s the archangel with his sharp sword.
We cannot follow, no, we must go back
We each must stay on our track.
Three little children with long ,silky hair
On this road going to where?
Once three small sisters ,but now only two;
Eyes of one green, the other’s blue.
By the park gate by a pool of sea rain
We shall be three again.
One in a pushchair and one gripping tight.
I push my dear sisters into the daylight.
Keep hold of the handle and never let go
I loved my  sisters so.
Keep hold of my hands as Dad crosses the sea.
Don’t hope for what cannot be.
I told her it’s only a rainwater pool,
Held in God’s hand like a jewel.
But she saw the patterns and she saw the tides
Which all human beings must ride.
For nothing is “only” and nothing is “just”.
Nothing and everything’s passed

He has enough who is content
Who wastes no time on envious greed
Who has his friends,whose love is spent

Who feeds on hope, who fasts in Lent
Whose mind is furnished, whose heart feels
He has enough who is content

Who trusts the darkness, the descent
Who with the devil makes no deal
Who has good friends,whose love is spent

Who does not seek to harm, resent
Who helps the other when in need
He has enough who is content

Who joyful in his love present
Yet seeks to heal the hearts that bleed
Whose loveś not banked,whose love is spent

Who has the Book of Life to read
Who takes his own time , will not speed
He has enough who is content
Who has true friends,to him Love´ś sent

I´ḿ swimming underwater and I can see strange fish
Many coloured, eyes that pierce, they may be dangerous
Yet I must concentrate on swimming to get to where I wish

Sharks have hidden behind whales.keeping still and stiff
I´ḿ afraid to ask for help, or even make a fuss
I´ḿ swimming underwater and I can see strange fish

Many are alluring except for teeth that gnash
They wriggle like a dancing girl,enough to make men blush
Yet I must concentrate on swimming to get to where I wish

Why have I no little phone. waterproof and tough?
The fish are getting closer, as yet there is no crush
I´ḿ swimming underwater and I can see weird fish

From the corner of my eye,I see but I don´t rush
Dont begin to talk to them, they can´t speak our English
I must concentrate on swimming yet life down here is lush

I am tempted to go with them, is it hell or bliss?
I have no desire for them,they swallow, they don´t kiss
I´ḿ swimming under water surrounded by weird fish
Yet I must concentrate on swimming to get to where I wish

I did this 2008 made from 3 drawings

Annie wants Mary to marry an intellectual

Katherine June 20, 2018 

Mary was sweeping the floor with her new Shark cordless electric carpet sweeper just replaced by Lakeland Plastics, that store beloved of British women.Emile was watching her from the lid of the old gramophone where he sat surveying the sitting room.
Leave that spider alone,he called to Mary
Why? she asked kindly,are you planning a date with it?
No,it’s a good thing to keep them as they may catch flies and other nasty things.
Mary turned and gazed at Emile.She was wearing some blue Tencel jeans and a bright pink top with embroidery round the neck.Her thoughtful face w as covered in Radiant Glow foundation as her friend Annie was trying to make her look more attractive to men.Which men was a puzzle as Mary liked to spend time alone or going out with her female colleagues to search for books on Dirac’s owl,Schrodinger’s cat or Godel’s ants.
Her male colleagues were mainly very conceited or shy like the rabbits brought up in the cliffs at Lyme Regis.
However Annie wanted Mary to marry again, as she saw her own vocation in life as being a mistress to a bright and intelligent retired man whose wife worked full time or was in the Library studying the Babylonian number system or other esoteric topics
.So she could help Mary and herself at the same time.
Shall we have a party,she chuckled to Mary as she came in through the ever unlocked back door.
What sort of party,Mary asked nervously.
I want you to meet some men,Annie reminded her.
I believe that like bombs falling on London in WW2,that if a man has your number on him he will find you,Mary teased.
Maybe your phone number,Annie retorted.Why don’t you get a spare mobile and I can put some posters with that number on the trees down the side roads saying you are looking for a new partner.
I thought I had made it clear that as some Orthodox Jews believe that Zion will only come when God wants it to do,so a man will turn up when it is God’s will.
That’s a bit much.Do you think you are God’s chosen person? Is God interested in finding you a new husband? Annie shouted.
Well,it may seem strange to you ,but even seeming trivia like me being married to some new man can have deep consequences for the whole world… a bit like the butterfly’s wings If I am happy it spreads around me and makes others happier too.Or if God wishes me to write a book and I need a man to cook for me then one will turn up,Mary responded in her low and musical Tyneside accent.
On the other hand, God may wish me to lead a contemplative life,she carried on.
Annie was puzzled.Why do you think God has all these plans for you,she enquired.
It’s not just me,said Mary.It’s everybody but that does lead into difficulties as we look at the world around us.Does God want all. these refugees to drown or for Britain to stay in the EU or leave and please Florencio Tonson? It reminded the women of their convent school classes where they had studied a simplified version of the writings of Aquinas and his proofs of the existence of God.
It was this book which had given Mary her first doubts about religion and, being somewhat dim in the tact department. she had shared her misgivings with the headmistress, who was not happy to be questioned even in front of mere school girls.
Emile,she cried,I wish I were a cat.My schooldays were so terrible
It’s your own fault, said Annie.I just pretended to believe it and kept quiet by fantasising about my new lingerie and how my boyfriend would like it
How remarkable it is that girls and boys can be so different in their personalities and ways of coping with puberty.
It was like a prison,Mary said.Still it made later life seem happier.

How did you afford new underwear so often,she asked Annie
I wore my mother’s! this dear friend informed her.
My mother didn’t have that sort of underwear,Mary told her.And see how something seemingly so trivial can affect one’s personal development so much.Still I was fed and allowed to study and play the piano and do my homework to the sound of Horace Wagner and Richard Straussbumt.
Did it help you to concentrate,Annie asked in a puzzled way.
No, it allowed my brother to dominate me and otherwise he might have hit me or knocked over the folding table where I kept my exercise books ,and pen ready to write essays on Twelfth Night and the periodic table.
Annie burst out laughing.Sorry,Mary,I am not laughing because you were bullied but it just sounded as if tables had periods,the way you said it.
Imagine how hard it was dealing with all that in a tiny house with the loo in the back yard.It was taboo so had to be concealed.When we went to Dublin for 2 weeks my three sisters and I all had our periods and we brought back all the blood stained cloths in our suitcases.Luckily the customs man did not look inside.
Was there nobody who could have burned them for you?
The landlady never mentioned it so neither did we.
No wonder I am so peculiar.
Well,I like you,said Annie.You are so kind and sympathetic and good to talk to.And you are always coming up with new ideas and interesting books.
I suppose we complement each other.Mary said shyly.Maybe we should get married and forget about men.
Annie’s eyes opened wide.
I think I’d better ring 999.she screamed.
And so say all of us.Don’t wait

Mary and Annie meet

Katherine December 10, 2018 

Mary  had had  coffee with Annie ;now she was eying a snake print pencil skirt in her local department store.Am I a temptress wearing snake skin as it  reminds men of Eden and  Adam’s sin? Curious how sex was a sin being as that’s how God had made them like that.He must  be very naughty himself,she thought
We could have had some other form of reproduction,she told herself.But as we are lazy  it would have to be fun.
Come here,Annie, she called.What do you think of this skirt?
No.Mary,it won’t look right on you.You still have an  unnatural  innocence and simplicity.I think seersucker or gingham dresses in pure cotton are your type of thing.You must be yourself so that a man will not mistake you for a woman of a certain  type.
I don’t think they have any gingham,Mary replied calmly.If only I had not been so afraid of  that sewing machine,I could make my own.And if a man did that it would be intriguing.
Oh,you would not have  hsd the time with your job and the house and Stan, Annie advised her.How about some  nice linen shorts?
Shorts! Are you crackers?My knees and thighs are private.
Well.Annie said,I am afraid you skirt is transparent  like Princess
Diana’s.
Thank God I have 2 pairs of knickers on,Mary chuckled.
I’ve always been bad at checking my clothes.Last week I went to see Vi and my shoes were on the wrong feet.Another  time my soles began to disintegrate… a  bit  like the EU.Stan liked me to wear lovely clothes like blue tights.
Just blue tights?Annie said suspiciously.
Don’t be so pedantic,Mary  grinned.I wore a blue dress too and a red cardigan .It’s  not for you to ask what I wore in bed.Maybe I wore Laura Ashley mabe I wore  a woollen vest
Don’t read Ted Hughes letters.And Sylvia Plath’s journals are even worse.You need some humour and fun.Well do read them but not all day
You can say that again,said Mary.I don’t want Ted Hughes and he’s dead anyway
When does that stop a determined woman?
We shall never know

I thought my stomach was rumbling but it was a dying wasp on my thigh
I felt my nose was running but the mask kept it on
My mouth was watering so I picked up a dry orchid and spat on the soil
My teeth chattered so much I couldn’t hear the slander at the dinner table
My throat was dryer than the Sinai desert in July
At the same time acid ran up my oesophogus.Not far enough
What is a biting wit?
I had dandruff until I went bald.Was it correlation or causation?
Can one give the hot shoulder to anyone?
I can’t kick you in the teeth till I have a knee replacement. No worries
My dentist committed suicide.It’s the death penalty with no comeback
I had so much wind I caused a storm in Biscay

Emile woke  Mary up at 7am.It was a  Sunday in  late October, grey and damp though the sun was still not  too low
Go away, she told him.The clock has changed.It’s not 8 am yet.I have to wash my hair as well.Get the Observer out of the basket for me.
I can’t read. the dear animal replied.And why don’t you rebel and stick to Summer Time?
I know Stan wanted to send you to Eton but we couldn’t afford it.Yet you understand days and calenders, Mary joked  merrily.
She got up and found her fleece dressing gown; it was   conker brown covered in coloured spots.She went downstairs and gave Emile a Whitby kipper.Then she made some tea and took it upstairs so she could drink it while she came round from her dreams
Suddenly Annie ran into   her bedroom wearing a  long black vinyl coat and  red knee-high boots
You never locked the back door, she howled like a lost  leopard which has had no  food for weeks
I don’t suppose anyone wants my old TV as it is only 19 inches.And my Chromebook is not something worth re-selling.I do have a new coat.
How about Ray Monk’s life of Wittgenstein, Annie asked her defiantly, her apricot lips pouting childishly as the Riemann of Paris lipstick glittered uncannily like an imaginary number in a dream of Godel.
The people who might enjoy reading it are by virtue of that , not the sort to steal or buy it on the black market.
That is very racist, Annie told her.You should say:the beige market!
Then nobody would know what I meant, Mary said lovingly
Anyway, do you want to come to Marks with me? They have some beautiful coats in
I’d like a pink wool coat, said Mary thoughtfully
Quite right  ,said Annie.Bring back feminine colours
Actually, gay men might like pink coats, she continued.But if they go on the bus they might get dirty.Come to think of it, so will women’s coats
They will have to buy pink puffa jackets and we can wash them at 30 deg.Mary whispered
Using a special detergent, Annie asked?
I have never seen a detergent for washing gay men.I don’t think they will fit into the washing machine.On the other hand, you are small so you will fit in
Shall I get undressed first, Annie asked furtively.
Yes, I’ll try to put you on a  short wash for 15 minutes but it is your choice.Maybe a bath would be safer?
No problem, said Annie intellectually.Are you having one with me?
You’d better be careful, Mary ad-libbed.It might be sexual harassment.
Well, I am not gay , said Annie.
You never know till you try, Mary giggled ,like a child behind the school canteen
Why, we might become gender fluid and then who knows?
And so say all of us
Miaow

The bones, the shape, the structure all are one
On that  form , we hang our little words.
Destroy the shape  and all  my poem is gone

The structure gives us something to lean on
To aid  creation , to make meaning shared
The bones, the shape, the structure all are one

Inflexibility is death, not fun
We fly upon the breezes as do birds
Negate that fact  and all real life is gone

Vulnerable to pain and hunter’s gun
We must not  live as  if all change is barred
The life, the shape, the structure come to one

Here and there we  drop a hint or pun
Into the patient hand we  drop wild cards
Negate that deed  and all real life is gone

Whose the heart by metal  strips destroyed?
What will be the outcome  what the buoy?
The bones, the shape, the structure all are one
Destroy the shape  and all  my poem is gone

Our girls at school are harassed every day
See the boys with photographs at play
The camera on the phone gives aid to crime
Are the girls, so innocent ,to blame?

Hidden in this maze, there are bad deeds
Girls ,persuaded by their fears, concede
Are the ones unphotographed despised?
Are the news reports a bag of lies?

No longer are young girls allowed to play
They scrutinise their bodies every day
Their photographs embellished and diplayed
Who objects to Ninety Shades of Grey?

Protect your privacy by powerful acts
Everyone must show the other tact

I think I’ll watch the BBC
Safe enough while Stan cooks tea
What is this, a guide to sex
Enough to put one off at best
After Fifty Shades of Grey
I knelt on the floor to pray
God protect the Innocent
From an author with mind bent
Yet she is now a millionaire
Withdraw the Whip, and do not stare
The BBC, is this bizarre?
I think the country’s gone too far
Where’s the mystery, where the joy
As with our donkey’s ears we toyed
What’s erotic nowadays
With orifices almost bare?
With breasts swelled by silicone
They have no fear they’ll be alone
Cut and slice, compare,contrast
Down comes Gabriel to blast
Why waste money, why be bossed
I’ll hurl my body into frost
I do hope there is no Test
Sometimes keeping mum is best
I don’t want girls to be assessed
Oh.Lord God, a bloody mess
Yet, it was cruel in my youth
We’d be in Hell with burning hooves
Pan the God with feet of goat
Dissociate and feel remote
Once admired and then cast out
Even I have had my doubts
Buying,selling,wanting more
Keep sex sacred at our core
For there we pass to heaven’s door
Let me in ,I’ll say no more.
But love is true and love is wise
Keep your dignity and thrive

Yet the Llght wound round my broken parts
Golden in its sympathy,its heart
I became a person once again
Willing to live on despite the pain

When we break up, we can be repaired
Trusting still the darkness and despair

I was cracking into pieces with my woes
Falling into dust and unfelt prose
Men would walk upon me ,crush me down
Throw me in the river Ouse to drown

Without my skin I felt the fearsome grief
Then my nerves were gnawed by toothed beasts
Falling in haphazard ways,disowned
Flying on the gale like bird unknown

As waves die

The music is the waves as they run high
Across the pebbly sands onto the road
Then groaning of the shingle as waves die

The fish that dwell deep in the dark, dark brine
The flow within as outer waters flow
The music of the waves as they run high

The moon reflects sun’s light to other eyes
Above the seas which rise up to its goad.
Then groans the shingle as the steep waves die

The sea holds hidden goods where we can’t pry
In the deep the heavy water moulds
The music of the waves as they run high

All the day and all of the black night
The seas and oceans change from high to low
Ah, groans the earth as each wave has to die

Re-hear these sounds, are they a sacred code?
As angels wrestled, Jacob feared the Lord
His music is the waves as they run high
His groaning is the shingle as waves die

The nun said I looked stupid, she was right
I grew blonde curls and cultivated spite
I did not speak grammatically in class
My accent was as broad as a nun’s ass

I mastered sarcasm,humour but not tact
And I showed a face without affect
I never spoke to teachers, just read books
Now and then I gave staff hostile looks

We could not leave the room at any time
So I bled on the chair,I nearly died
The Bishop said that tampons were a sin
And noone ever showed us the way in

The head was angry when I told the truth
God’s existence does not need a proof
God was here before our native tongues
Don’t say we are right when we feel wrong

What anger I encountered when I solved
A problem that the teacher had got wrong
I should have learned my lessons as I grew
The ones I learned then are both old and new

I cannot help the dissonance I showed
Big blue eyes but mind like metal blows
I frightened all the boys away for years
Feminism is easy for bad girls

Does it matter if you are too smart
Seeing round the corners of the heart?
Keep it to yourself that you are weird
You are now the alien men feared

Now I am so old my looks don’t count
My mind is wild but that I can surmount

My heart is soft like butter left in sun.
Much more heat and it will melt and run
Oh, why do we have feelings,why engage
When friendship turns into such heat and rage?

I do not wish to live remote and stern
As if I am so perfect I can’t learn
Pain too deep can mortify the flesh
Turn us into robots fit for trash

All I need is an enormous fridge
Which will make me harder than sweet fudge
I’ll go inside and pray for peace each day
If I freeze to death,I shall not say.

Oh, be of merry heart,my friends and foes
When love comes in, a little hate will go

Lost in wondrous, gentle reverie
I put my Toe into his mug of tea
I knew I should have nests of tables near
Or diagrams to show me how to veer

I know not why I loved this merry man
If I can do it, anybody can
With patience and the virtues we were taught
I threw my hook and it was he I caught

Do you think the Holy Ghost is here?
If that’s so, we’ve nothing much to fear
Since the Lockdown on March 23rd
Myy face has had a rash, is that absurd?

I cooked some bacon and I fried an egg
I might have ventured into frying bread
Mother used to leave it in the pan
Bits of bacon, bread; God was a man

We could not chew the Host as it was Christ
I sucked it and it tasted rather nice
Now they share the wine and kiss of peace
Then all can go home for last Sunday’s grease

I liked to sing “The Panting Heart of Rome”
It sounds like a sex maniac on a roll
Guardian angels do nor read the News
It is so liberal, they can’t cancel Views

Anyway the lungs cause us to pant
Especially when our pants are full of ants