Fettling

O

Eeh, it were right crackin’ at school t’day
Wot wur they sayin’ this time?
Thi said wi can do Greek next year
You’re not doin’ Greek
Why not, Mam
Ye can’t even spek English
Why, am I not canny enough?
No, we don’t spek English eether
Well, ye shud a thought eh that before y’ad me.De ye mean only people with BBC eksents c.n have childern?
Well, we reckoned if we learnt English we’d lose our desire
F’wat, Mam
F’ that! Ye know… It, ye get what ah mean
No,Mam.Can you not spell it our a bit more?
Spell it out, te dad would tan me hide!
Still he must a dunnit,Mam
I dunno, it wer dark.Mebbe it wer the cat, ah thought
Surely the cat’s not mi dad, is he?
It weren’t this cat, it wer another called Billy.
Well, how come I’m human?
You think ye are human, but am telling ye,ye got t’cat’s eyes
Just his eyes? How abaht his whiskers
Don’t be so daft, our Kath,Ye’ve got his hair
But only on my head so far.Willa bi changin’ into a cat as ah mature?
Wi’ll have te wait and see.Put ‘t kettle on.We need some tea.
Why, what difference will that make now.I’m a cat,I’m a cat…. oh, what’ll ‘et nuns say ‘et Convent when ah tellum?
You keep away from ‘et Convent~
Why, our Mam?
Do as I tell you.Never confide in a nun
Well,Ah shan’t let ‘et cat fettle me.Ah’m not that daft
Well, yi can’t do Greek and that’s final
Kyrie Eleison,Kyrie Eleison
Wot’s that?
Oh, nothin’ at all
Christie Horizon
For God’s sake speak English, Kath