Doctors’ exam questions

How do you treat stage 4 lung cancer?

By surgery to remove the lungs

And how do you treat brain cancer?

Isn’t it obvious? Remove the brain.

What about your heart?

I took my mine out a long time ago.

You didn’t have it done on the NHS then ?

No but I paid myself £10,000 afterwards

Now, let’s do the circulation of the blood.

Which person discovered that the blood circulated around the entire body.

I didn’t even know that anyone had discovered that.

Going back to oncology what about skin cancer?

I thought this was a general oral examination not a specialist one for people studying oncology

Alright what makes your pulse go too low?

Boredom I think.

So what is the cure for that?

Being a medical student

There’s no need to go on. You have failed completely.

Thank you very much sir or madam. I only came here to bring these pens then I thought I would just try to do the exam in case I could become a doctor straight away without doing any training.

They say the people who know the least about a subject are the ones who are more likely to believe they know a great deal about it.

So the more learned you get the more humble you get

Then heaven might be full of scholars but also of people who are highly skilled in other ways such as artists.

. I won’t say they will get on like a house on fire because that might more like hell than heaven.

And what is heaven but a metaphor?

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