The story of the shoe laces

Edgeworthia-chrysanthaWhat a day.All I wanted was some black shoe laces.I need to have some kind of fastening and I have some black patent brogues.
Can your feet lose weight when the rest of you doesn’t?
I took out the laces and wore the shoes without  any but now they flop about.Ask me where I  haveput the laces.I have no idea… have I got ADD or am I  just not very wise?
I decided being a bit off colour I’d take a cab.The cab was  £5.The shoe laces were £4 for 2 pairs.No doubt I’ll lose one soon
Of course I needed coffee and an iced bakewell tart I guess it was £4
That seems £13…. just because I needed the shoe laces.Moreover some of my other shoes are now too wide.Why have my feet   shrunk while my body is the same size
Will my hands shrink soon?
Then to economise I wanted the bus.I just missed it and then entered a posh hair dressers
Yes,madam?
May I use your WC? It hurts me to walk all the way  to the Mall?
Of course
When I came out the next bus was due.It was 17 minutes so one was missing
And when your knees hurt those plastic seats are hell.I mean it
So.I’ll throw those shoes out…… if I can find them!
Yesterday I staggered onto the road.I haven’t  drunk alcohol since 1987
Apparently I screamed ,help me.What next?I was only getting down the kerb which is hard when you have no depth vision
An angel will come down and take me to heaven.I won’t need Visions there
Was that my life?

 

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