At least not my favourite programme

My washing machine wouldn’t work
[I thought this was a  poem?]
At least not my favourite programme
[Sounds like a TV!]
Then  after 6 months you came and fixed for me
[I don’t recall that]
You said, change the spin speed
[No, I said, do you like seaweed.actually]
And now my programme is working
I am very grateful  to you
[ Deafness has advantages!]
So, would you like to come round for a meal one evening
[Do you cook food in the washing machine,then?]
Well, what do you feel?
Yeah,I’d love to.
You love me!
I suppose I must.

It’s not compulsory
No, of my own free will,I would love to eat with you
We can talk about my Will later.
Am I in it?
What did you say?
“You must begin it.”
Start with dinner.Do you eat meat?
I like Roast Beef
How wonderful.I have this recipe:Topside with green peas by Harold Wilshaw
How about blue peas?
Yes, green is redundant
Like some men feel
I know men like a feel
May I feel you?
That’s a funny way of asking
Would you enjoy it?
I have no idea but you do smell nice.
I’m in luck.I got some Homme Soap
Om soap, sounds like a mantra![ She’s a  Buddhist!
What about puddings.Do you like Ginger Mould?
It depends where the mould is
I use a white china souffle dish
No mould on that
I  make the mould in a pan.It’s like a custard and cream mixture with ginger in it and then I set it with gelatine
[Jelly beans, do you have beans in a pudding ?]
I have a huge pot of gelatine. I bought it online
Can’t you buy it in a shop?
No,people don’t make their  own jelly now.
Well, that is interesting.Is it a metaphor?
Stop talking about abstractions.I’d like to sit by you and watch TV.
Why?
Because I like you.And I like TV.I like rubbish.”Rubbish” is the in word now
You’re in luck.It’s mainly rubbish now
It’s relaxing after studying 5 dimensional geometry
Just stop studying
I never thought of that.You are so kind  to me.
I don’t see it as kindness
You think about me.
I dream about you!
You seem like Father Xmas’s younger brother
An original idea!
So Sunday 7 pm
I will be there,God willing.
Great.I  can’t wait to talk to you for longer.
Then we’ll see Leonard Cohen.
Is that because mould causes hallucinations?
Surely even LSD can’t work that fast!
Jews do fast, you know
That’s tangential.
I give in