On’t bum

Drink some tea and eat a piece of bread
Take an aspirin, check that I’m not dead.
Read my Gmail on my Windows phone
Walk to bathroom pressing down my groans

Click “your sources” see the Daily Mail
No, I cry, the Independent’s all
I see Reuter’s  arrived  and it says there,
Princess Di  is 56 and seems set fair

I peer at M & S and see a colour block
It would  look  special on an evening flock
For I love sheep and buy them  outerwear
To keep them clean and fragrant like fresh air

But once a ram gave me a kick on’t bum
So if I see a man I tend to run