Labour pains


  • I walked across the water.

    I skied across the sea
    I took the television too,
    And it’s heavier than me.

    I fell up a mill chimney
    I slid down a sunbeam
    I have to go to London
    I was told to in a dream.

    I drove right up a mountain
    A horse rode on my back
    I felt rather excited
    But I forgot to take my mac.

    I swung across the ceiling
    Like a spider in its web,
    I say,you are so beautiful.
    Do you have a double bed?

    I am sitting on the roof top
    Drinking cider from a can.
    I wanted to get married
    But she said she wants a man.

    I climbed right up a tiger’s tail,
    I crowned an elephant
    But my most abiding passion
    Is to learn to mix cement.

    I spied for several governments
    But then they threw me out.
    Because I am an alien
    Of that there is no doubt.

    I’m not a human being
    I am lacking in some ways
    I’m too kind to kill other people,
    Even when it’s highly paid.

    I write with a big crayon
    I draw with candlewax
    I live on cottage pie and rice,
    And I’m addicted to kind sex.

    I set my curly hair on fire.
    I swam In boiling oil.
    I went down to the market
    To watch the apples toil.

    I had a lot of people
    Who were living in my house.
    I could not ever remember
    Which one was my spouse.

    I taught my doctor to love lice
    I showed him how to shoot.
    And now I’m training Isaac up
    So he can be a Newt.

    I skate across the surface
    Of everybody’s eyes
    And all I ever ask of you is
    Forget how to tell lies.

    I am coming down to your place
    As it’s twice as big as mine.
    Have you got a chip sandwich?
    To feed our love divine?

    I want to see the people
    who are living in that Palace.
    I have to tell them God told me
    It belongs to Carroll’s Alice.

    Roll your eyes like marbles
    And interweave your hair with trains.
    This is how it happens,
    When you don’t heed Labour’s pains.

My first news letter

Dear All

Well, I don’t write a  letter very often, but after finding a replica of my old pen on E bay I decided to do a Round Robin.
First of all, none of my children have got into Oxford or Cambridge nor have my grandchildren.They are all on the dim side but that is how I like them.I think IQ is very over rated and as mine is 65 you realise I am a mere imbecile and so my ten children take after me.
They all got degrees from places I’d never heard of like Chester, Bolton, Ormskirk, and Hendon.However, as I once lost a job offer from a well known university because I wore an engagement ring I kind of thought being a low flyer might be better.
My brother is very kind.He is changed very much since we were adolescents when he was too put it mildly a pain.He has now told me I am in the top 1% of intelligence in the world.Imagine 99% of the world’s population has an IQ of 64 or less.Don’t expect an imbecile to explain that
I can believe it about our delightful politicians, Theresa Paybum and Horace Yawnsome and their ilk.
My children have done well.One is a violinist in Berlin.As I never go there I cannot be sure if she is lying but she does speak good German or for all I kn, w it might be Yiddish as my great aunt was familiar with that old tongue.Perhaps my daughter is really playing the Jewish harp in a liberal Synagogue.And believe me, it would have to be very liberal to let that flame haired temptress near any married man.Is it her fault she is so attractive?After all, she is my daughter and blew dry every hair daily as a teen
My eldest son  had to  fail an exam before he was accepted at Ormskirk Dental School.You see with 21 GCSE’s grade A star they wanted him to go to Cambridge but he  knew his own limits.He preferred being near the great Nature  Reserves of the estuary of the Mersey and Nature and its exploration has kept him busy.Why he even spends whole days in the Mersey Tunnel.He said he wants to find the Universiy of New Brighton but he is still in the tunnel.I said I#d buy him a van but he prefers walking everywhere and camping on the verges of the road maybe giving relief to a few virgins en passant.Being a virgin nowadays is very hard socially.But as a Spanish waiter once said to me ” One virgin is very hard to find” Maybe two are easier.
My second daughter is married and lives in Poole. She often walks around the Isle of Purbeck with the triplets in her back pack.How her husband stands her I cannot get.She is lazy and unable to cook even frozen chips.However, the babies are still on the breast and there is a McDonald#s nearby.Her Ph.D was on “Cats in Modern Physics”.She had a wonderful tutor at Wigan University.Why, he married her! Then he got a job in Bournemouth.How she snagged him I do not know but her thesis was the first of its kind.Now everyone is doing animals in abstract mathematics.
Well, it’s time for me to warm my frozen pizza on the fire so I’ll leave the rest for next time.
Au  revoir
Kristy Krasse

Like a violin with just two strings

Shall I compare the brain to say, a garden plant
Which needs attention and the right to grow
Yet if it is not given what it wants
Development will be fragile and too slow.

If the  plant ‘s  contorted , over-pruned
Then certain parts may never even show
Like a violin with just two strings
Cannot play concertos high and low.

So our brain is cut back by our haunts
If we  cannot play and socialise,
Then we will be subjected to  taunts
Secateurs prune  brains and so prune lives

With connections to the world of others less
We become remote and so friendless

I was reading an article which said if you do not get enough attention as a little child  your brain cuts off certain of its connections or they don’t develop and so later you find socializing very hard.Then it becomes self-replicating.. unless one has a great tolerance of pain and some good luck.

Releasing secrets is a kind of rape

Now the high ups fight  about some tapes
Princess Di spoke of her rage and grief
Releasing secrets is akin to rape

If we had no Brexit and some  hope
The government would not be such a thief
Wasting time to fight  about some tapes

What if there were tapes made by  a Pope
Would it shatter all Christian belief?
Releasing secrets is a kind of rape

Why can’t we do work that brings us hope
Brings some peace and gives our  hearts relief?
Instead, the high ups fight  about some tapes

As individuals, we can seek  for help
Or do creative acts that we believe
Releasing secrets is a kind of rape

The  government’s the habitat of thieves
Into the the river Thames let them be heaved!
Now the Lords and Ladies  hear  Di’s tapes
Releasing secrets, does it seem like rape?





Now the evening of the day before
The wedding and the guests  not yet estranged
Then I a dress of golden satin wore.
It was the evening

The priest he prayed and love was emphasized
Which looking at that world seems now so strange
Like hatred of the Jews who Christ provide.
They provided him

We took Communion, sang the hymns of praise
The wedding feast was already arranged
Thank God for Jesus whom he did not raise.
We took Communion

Like an absent father of the present day
God let Mary raise his child dismayed
Impregnating her then going off to play
An absent father

If God did choose  a Jew to be his bride
He must have liked her profile well displayed
Who knows that, his ways are not our ways?
His  Jewish lover

Strangely, Catholics cannot marry Jews
Though would a Jew desire a  Nazi’s heirs?
In  their lairs in souls of Europe, Nazis brood
We’re Nazis below deck

We think the Shoah  was sickening  just for Jews
But  it’s we who’re sick and need  a great repair
Europe’s down the chute, just watch the News.
Watch the News.

A  wedding day should  have both joy and care
For all of  those who have  affect to share
When all of humankind   can watch  the play
On a scream near you, they  want to say
No affect dare



I still admire

I have no head, no heart, no love, no fear
Invisible to all who seek to find
Just living patiently with what is near.

The angel of the river stayed to steer
She knew I was detached from my own mind
I have no head, no heart, no love, no fear

Down the mountains, wildebeest career
He took me there into his double bind
Just living pwith the beasts is very dear

But nonetheless, I sometimes tried to veer
Blown away and flying with the winds
I have no head, no heart, no love, no fear

He followed me and  drenched me in his tears
I never wished to be so cruel, unkind
Just living in the mystery with so near.

Life itself will follow no straight lines
And gifts us with extraordinary finds
I have no head, no heart, no love, no fear
My eyes are open to the works I  still admire.



That dark embrace

Do not leave me for the desolate,  earthy grave.
Do not leave me  here when you are gone
Do not leave me  to whom love  you gave
Do not leave me.

My   tender arms, I stroke  and gently bathe
To soothe my mind, when near me is no-one.
Do not leave me for  the desolate  grave
Do not leave me

For   our humorous love, I ever crave
A founding ground we have built upon
Do not leave me   to whom love  you gave
Do not leave me

A sorrow deep convulses like a wave
Washes me of  hope, of memories  done
Yet do not leave me for the desolate,earthy grave.
Do not leave me

I love not the charisma  of men suave
I love your voice and all our passion spun
Never leave me   to whom love  you gave
Never leave me.

In my heart, your name shall be engraved
In my mind,  you circle like the sun
Do not leave me for   your desolate earthy  grave
Do not leave me  for death’s dark embrace~
That dark embrace

Boot sale

 P1000262 1


Archimedes’ pocket calculator in working order
Cleopatra’s nightie [washed and ironed]
Aristotle’s chair with footstool and TV remote
Abraham’s bras [unworn]
Isaac’s laughter [ CD]
Euclid’s ruler [plastic]
Zeno’s hair [combed]
Ten live Greek tortoises with name tags.
Book of Numbers [ In Hebrew]
Fifty limericks and Wordsworth’s hair [1 only]
Wittgenstein’s cat. and ten tines of food
Freud’s mirror
Jung’s shadow.
Churchill’s black dog