Who I am

I wanted to be good and thought  that meant
I need only wish to make it so:
I was what I desired in my intent

I suffered from strange tortures  throughout Lent
I dropped a boiling kettle on my toe
I wanted to be good and thought  it  meant

On my birthday I was quite absent
Any joy, I thought saints did not show
I was what I desired in pure intent

I thought God  lived like Moses in a tent
I feared Hell and saw the rosy glow
I wanted to be good yet turmoil   rent

As I grew,  neurosis in me sent
The fires of hell  to cause my overflow
I was by men desired though not fluent

I realised too late how I don’t  know
Who I am nor whither I should go.
I wanted to be good and thought  that meant
I was what I desired with such intent