The Pandemic Brought Depression and Anxiety. Reaching Out Helped. https://nyti.ms/3rBW6OY

I sold my Zimmer frame and bought a cat.

He’s very big so I lean on his back.

He takes me up to bed and keeps me warm.

In the night I dream,he keeps me calm

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/30/opinion/psychotherapy-remote-covid.html

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/consumer-advice/money/a39627801/cost-of-living/

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2022/aug/31/grey-rocking-how-to-bore-a-toxic-narcissist-out-of-your-life?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Psychologists have suggested imagining yourself as an impenetrable grey rock when confronted with overbearing and manipulative people. The trick is to appear as uninterested, and uninteresting, as humanly possible

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Published:13:34 Wed 31 August 2022

Name: Grey rocking.

Age: Relatively new.

Appearance: As unbelievably dull and unresponsive as a rock.

OK. OK? That’s it? You don’t want me to tell you what grey rocking actually is?

Sure. That’s better. It’s a new and apparently very effective way to force toxic narcissists out of your life for good.

Come live with me and be my helpmeet now
I’ll share my bed with you and how!
If you let me love you
I’ll darn your old gloves 4 you..
If you come and meet me brow to brow.

Come live with me and teach me all you know
About poetic licence and Soho
I’ll mend your vacuum cleaner
And learn expressions meaner.
How cheerfully the hours to come will go,

Come live with me and be my lover true
Without one,how will ever I do?
I’ll set up model railways
And learn the Jewish weekdays
Come live with me and I will sweep your flue.

Come live with me in Norway on a fjord
I’ll mend my Canon Powershot if I’m bored.
I’ll watch the ice flowers growing
And then we must be sowing.
How happy Wittgenstein’ve been if he’d have knowed.

I wish I were at Whitby by your side
From the Abbey Steps we saw the.whole
The sound of gulls aswirling round our minds

The atmosphere of Yorkshire blunt and kind
Salty air,the North Sea,winds that groan
I wish I were at Whitby by your side

See the children taking donkey rides
The fishermen look anxious , happy, worn,
The sound of gulls is swirling round my mind

From Saltburn,Staithes to Bempton bold cliffs rise
Then Bridlingon where Hockney was a boy
I wish I were at any by your side

The two weeks break seemed long when we arrived
Now all my past seems like an old map torn
The sound of gulls is calling you to mind

To be in Whitby is to be alone
The pie shop’s open yet I feel forlorn
I wish we were at Whitby side by side
The sun and air, I dream into your mind

Gl

Have you been feeling guilty lately?

For many people, this powerful emotion has become especially prevalent during the pandemic. There is guilt over surviving Covid-19 when family members or friends did not; guilt over potentially exposing other people to the virus; guilt about the distance we have had to maintain from those we care about most.

Have you been feeling guilty lately?

For many people, this powerful emotion has become especially prevalent during the pandemic. There is guilt over surviving Covid-19 when family members or friends did not; guilt over potentially exposing other people to the virus; guilt about the distance we have had to maintain from those we care about most.

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/23/well/mind/guilt-covid-pandemic.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/20/well/live/dont-take-osteoarthritis-lying-down.html

One of the biggest mistakes people make with arthritis is to limit movement of the affected joint, which leads to stiffness and weakness that only makes matters worse. The resulting decline in neuromuscular function, especially balance and walking speed, is a major risk factor for falls and fall injuries that too often lead to costly hip replacements and lasting disability.

A national survey in 2012 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that among people with arthritis, the prevalence of two or more falls during the previous year was 137 percent higher and of fall injuries 149 percent higher than among their age mates without arthritis.

In 2011, osteoarthritis accounted for 95 percent of the 757,000 total knee replacements and 80 percent of the 512,000 total hip replacements in this country, the United States Bone and Joint Initiative has reported.

When I imagine meeting you I feel it in my breath

My breathing alters

It must be excitement

I feel it in my inner arms and the tender place of the inner wrist

I feel it in my hands and fingers

I want to touch you

I want to see you.

My arm’s reach out as if to hold you

Where are you?

It hurts me not to see you

It hurts me not to feel you

It hurts me that I cannot touch your body

It hurts me that I cannot touch your face

Your ears were always warm

Where are you now when I’m alone?

Don’t ask these questions it is too painful.

But more painful still is that I cannot see you

Except in photographs

The visual cannot substitute for the sensual

It’s my hands that want you

My eye is not sensual the wat5 hands are

I want my cells t I’m ino touch your cells.

Were we not one ?

Oh love, can you be gone?

https://www.writermag.com/improve-your-writing/nonfiction/tips-older-writers-memoir/

Regardless of the reasons that lead you to the starting line, there are several myths about writing a memoir that can deter older writers from sharing their stories. In my six years of teaching community college memoir classes geared toward older adults, I have seen many concerns brought up by my students each semester. Many believe that their lives aren’t “book worthy” or that younger generations won’t be interested in reading about their experiences. Others find it hard to select a starting point or can’t decide a theme to settle on. Plenty worry about what family or friends will think when they hear about secret pasts.

Often, the apprehensions or worries about writing come up before the students even connect pen to paper. The sheer magnitude of these worries has kept some from enjoying the process of sharing their stories. While writing memoir can certainly challenge writers emotionally and creatively, the process does not need to be grueling or intimidating. Here are the most common issues I hear from my students, along with encouraging tips to keep you moving forward.

I suggest keeping a notebook and jotting memories and story ideas down as they come up. However, I encourage memoirists NOT to consult with family about how certain incidents played out while they have work in progress. While asking family about factual things like addresses, birthdays or anniversaries, or the name of a wacky distant relative can be helpful during the writing process, memories or interpretation of events can vary wildly from person to person. Chances are, no two people will have the same memory of an incident, and this can often confuse or sway the memory of the writer.Advertisementhttps://63d8384efa956621ceab1887762ead20.safeframe.googlesyndication.com/safeframe/1-0-38/html/container.html?n=0

I think that shy cautious people may be more like this is survive in many environments but older people are more likely nto have children because they will find it easier to look for mates But you only need one mate to have a child and in our society sex is mainly a form of reparation since contraception is easily available. So the bold may not have any more children than the shy.

and the most sexual partners you have the more likely you are to have sexually transmitted diseases. That might be the reason why extroverts might die young.

https://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/04/education/edlife/reticence.html

It seems from reading this article that most of us would rather have a brain scan then go to a party and talk to strangers. Does shyness have survival value?

Just based on my own experiences I think shyness does have survival value.

Most animals only mix with their own family groupings.

They don’t drive about in cars nor go on holidays nor go to parties.

And if you’re not part of their clan they might attack you or eat you.

and when you go to a big party when you don’t know the guests there maybe some people there who are not trustworthy.

But we shouldn’t let shyness stop us altogether from mixing with people. We no longer live in clans or tribes so we have to construct one for ourselves but especially big cities we need to do it through connections at work or connections of our friends and neighbours or classes that we go to for art or music. In a class you can get to know people enough to judge them. They can also be very amusing as in my art class the best students have a low opinion of their work and the worst students sometimes ask the teacher how much they should get for their paintings when they sell them.

Being confident is not always based on realistic achievement so talents.

Ok just have value because confident people are more willing to try new things and are less afraid of being criticised So perhaps we can pretend to be confident especially in the context of going to classes. It’s not the end of the world if your drawing looks horrible. In fact some people might buy it because it’s so horrible whereas little sweet pretty pictures are all too common and we don’t want them anymore. Except ob birthday cards

https://thedoctorweighsin.com/should-we-worry-about-getting-cancer/

George Klein (1925-2016) was Professor Emeritus at the Microbiology and Tumor Biology Center at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden when he published a fascinating article in The Scientist. The article makes the point that approximately one in three people will be struck by cancer in their lifetime.[3] But, the other side of that coin is that two out of three people remain unaffected. Even the majority of heavy smokers who bombard their lungs with carcinogens and tumor promoters over many years remain cancer-free.

A systematic review revealed that prostate cancer’s incidental findings at autopsy ranged from <5% in men under age 30 to almost 60% by age 70.[4] A not-insignificant percentage of these cancers, when localized and low risk, do not progress to overt cancer during the person’s lifetime. This has led to a recommendation option of active surveillance as opposed to treatment.[5]

It is also known that circulating tumor cells (CTCs) are present in many cancer patients. However, only a portion of these cells will enter and persist in distant parts of the body.[6] These are known as disseminated tumor cells or DTCs. An only a fraction of them develop into secondary tumors (metastases).

• What keeps these micro-cancers in check?

They are kept in check by a mix of the 

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/01/at-home/newsletter.html

They told me not to go to the hospital because the trains are operating today so when will you go?

When the trains are not running.

So how will you get to the hospital?

I will have to ask for transport.

what will that be?

I wish it were a donkey.

you’re not Jesus you know.

Riding on donkeys was not the only thing that Jesus did

But he did give the Sermon on the Mount.

You are so clever I’m surprised that you are not the Prime Minister.

did you say the Crime minister?

I didn’t know there was a crime minister.

there are plenty of lying ministers.

so true.

If someone ‘slips while crossing the road we might

have a dying minister.

Have you ever thought of writing a crime story?

no it will be a crime were I to do so.

How could it be a crime to write a detective mystery?

if you’re a terrible writer

Someone might kill you

I have got the plot but I’m no good at dialogue

Start with a monologue and then answer in another monologue

Will that be a dialogue?

No but it will look like one

Boris Johnson looked like a prime minister

Say no more

r

There are exceptions, of course. For the rare public figure or celebrity whose cultivated arrogance and lofty untouchability intersect in just the right ways, it’s still possible to be merely “honored” and “surprised,” in old-school acknowledgment of deserved recognition. (Think of Bob Dylan, who was unable to travel to Stockholm to pick up his Nobel Prize in person because of undisclosed pre-existing commitments.) But it’s tricky. We live in a rabidly anti-elitist society that is also in slack-jawed, slavish thrall to elites, and it’s no joke to try to maintain homeostasis between “Look at me!” and “Who, me?”

For most of us, the choice is simple: We can either let our triumphs and random strokes of luck go unremarked upon, or we can bow our heads and declare ourselves humbled by our great fortune.

It seems worth pointing out, though, that none of this is what “humbled” actually means. To be humbled is to be brought low or somehow diminished in standing or stature. Sometimes we’re humbled by humiliation or failure or some other calamity. And sometimes we’re humbled by encountering something so grand, meaningful or sublime that our own small selves are thrown into stark contrast — things like history, or the cosmos, or the divine.

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https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/03/smarter-living/how-to-improve-self-confidence.html

The “Oxford Handbook of Positive Psychology” puts it another way: “If the person lacks confidence, again there will be no action. That’s why a lack of confidence is sometimes referred to as ‘crippling doubt.’ Doubt can impair effort before the action begins or while it is ongoing.”

If you believe you can get your dream job if you apply, there’s a chance, however small, you will.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/05/smarter-living/how-to-be-a-more-patient-person.html

The good news is that same study found that patience as a personality trait is modifiable. Even if you’re not a particularly patient person today, there’s still hope you can be a more patient person tomorrow. So if you find yourself getting exasperated more than you’d like, here are ways to keep those testy impulses in check.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/24/smarter-living/how-to-be-good.html

Like the water  in a mountain stream
In flood it drowns  the weak and  very young
In drought we can explore its bed  and dream

The limestone all round Alston’s very clean
And in the little river stones are flung
It’s  water  in a new born mountain stream

Dried river beds in Teesdale are  pristine
The dark hills threaten  as they overhang
In drought, we can explore, find stones  and dream

But much of  Pennine land remains unseen
The  steepness,wildness ,blackness darkly sing
Like the  currents  in a flung down stream

In rare heat, bare feet are river clean
The hot stones make a flat seat on the bank
In drought, we can explore or  view the scene

In  love the mind will savour and then thank
The world of nature into which it sank
Unlike the water  in a mountain stream
If our mind runs slower  it better dreams

In  peaty water,pebbled white as chalk
My feet feel ample pleasure as I walk
The stepping stone of Rothay I have shunned
For to the deeper  water I am won

The silence but for birdsong faraway
Soothes each cell as they vibrate and play
The body like the coat of   cat well stroked
Lies in pleasure, almost seems to float

The limestone pavement   on high Hutton Roof
Grows little flowers of pure and subtle truth
Across we see the  sands of Morecambe Bay
The dragging, shifting sands that suck and sway

The feet in sand and water feel well homed
Yet on the higher crags I long to roam

https://www.forbes.com/sites/margiewarrell/2020/05/22/ten-things-to-remember-when-going-through-tough-times/

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/relaxation-techniques-breath-control-helps-quell-errant-stress-response

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/15/magazine/grieving-loss-closure.html

If you go out of your mind where do you go to?

Is there a right mind0?

Aand if you are not in your right mind is there more than one wrong mind?aa

To the mindless the body is a joy until they walk having front of the traffic and get run over.

I had the fastest mind in the university or should speed only apply to the brain?

The heart can break when we are distressed what does it do when we are happy?

What does be mindful mean?a

Burnt to Sienna the grass on the marsh was dry

Suddenly it flamed into fire, witness the sky.

I was reading to you and I saw nothing at all

But I felt the heat in my flesh and the brick wall

Blaze blaze you fires in the earth create

The fires of love burn stronger than the fires of hate

Joy and woe are woven fine

A clothing for the soul divine

By William Blake