Day: March 26, 2023

It’s louder than winks to a London bus

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A house divided against itself cannot land on the runway

A louse has not a hope here

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single rucksack and a re boot

A leopard cannot change its dots apres Monet.

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing

A little of what you fancy gives you twins

A man who is his own lawyer has a tool for his client

A kiss is as good as a smile

A new broom sweeps a black mass under the bed

A nod’s as good as a wink to a kind fool

A penny read is a penny learned

A person is known by the company he runs

A stricture yells a thousand swear words

A place for everything and everything in the fried plaice

A poor jerk in Japan once played the fool

A problem shared is a problem spread

A prophet does not fraternize with his own hands

A rising tide lifts up all rubbish

A soft chancer turneth away from the bath

A stitch in time saves rhymes.

A swarm in May is worth a load of neighs a swarm in June is worth a silver tune; but a swarm in July is not worth an eye

A fling of beauty is a sin forever

A nude volunteer is worth twenty dressed men

A watched snake never uncoils

A woman is more than any man, but a good cigar is a joke

A woman’s place is in the foam

A woman’s work is not entirely fun

A word of advice is enough for a sentence to be passed

Absence makes the heart grow longer and the lungs go yonder

Absolute power disrupts absolute power.

Actions’re esteemed louder than winks

Adversity makes strange bedfellows keep warm

After a storm comes a calm nothingness.

All good things come to he who irradiates

All good things must come round the bend

All is grist that dumbs my new will.

Bad publicity may be good advertising

All roads lead to Joan

All that glisters is not told

All the world loves to bother me

All things come to those in state

All bling will pass but my blog will never end.I wrote it on a Mobius strip of paper,you see

All work and no play makes Jack a neurotic obsessive just like me

All you read about is love so who records the hate?

All’s fair , he loves to annoy justly

All’s for the best in the best of all possible swirls

He liked my husband’s shoulder dear


I dream at nights of my old friends
My husband and his loving hands
I dream of all the cats we had
Alfred who slept on the bed
He laid his head upon my foot
As I wrote a poem of love
Jimmy who was small and black
She bit my hand if I got up
I did not wish to wet the bed
She did not understand a word I said
The last night here she gazed at me
I think she knew she would not be
Lucky was the nervous one
Black and white , apartheid none
He liked my husband’s shoulder dear
He draped himself and lost all fear
Now the cats have all gone off
I am frightened by my cough
My husband comes to me at night
Fortunately he cannot bite
He touches me with tenderness
Smiles and wished me,God Bless.
When I waken I feel lost
So I have to wear a watch
I seem to have no solid self
I feel nervous of those elves
I don’t mind an angel fierce


He could rub my aching feet
I will have no other man
They are frightened of women
They don’t like to lose at Chess
They don’t like to wash my dress
They will brush my winter coat
Never ask me what I wrote
I do not wish to anger men
They might shout and bawl again
I think maybe I will turn gay
Ask a lady, what to say?
They may not understand my needs
Killing flowers to help the weeds
Talking all the weary night
On the whole they’re parasites
Also they may menstruate
I can’t give them seeds to take
So they will leave and get a man
This is where it all began
Eve and Adam,God and man
Cain and Abel, apple flan
Noah and his Ark so fine
I wish I had one in the rain
I wonder when the world will end?
I am old so be my friend

Paint my face with colours light and soft

Let me paint my house with color soft.

Still as snowflakes lying in a drift

Let me paint my house in colours mute

That lovers die I cannot now refute.

As stark as ghosts are in an empty lift.

The end of life is startling it is swift.

Death came here and touched his unkissed lips

I am lonely are the lights go out.

I am frightened I won’t know the route

Now my heart is bleeding it is ripped

Lie beside me lover in the moss

Paint my face with colours still and soft

I see you in the mist and I am lost.

What we pay is more than any cost.

Stan wears Mary’s skirt

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Stan woke up later than usual owing to the comfort of   sleeping in his  dear wife’s soft cotton nightgown.He had slept better than  he often did despite the police calling to question him about a nude woman found wandering in the town centre. at midnight.She had forgotten her name!
Women have much better clothes than men,Emile, he remarked to the cat which was stretched out on  the Sun which a visitor had left..I don’t know why I allow that paper in the house You could sleep on a bath towel.
After having a shower,Stan decided to take another look at Mary’s clothes.He found a  long denim skirt in light indigo   and embroidery which he fancied would match his new  cream T shirt.
Of course I shall only wear  it while I do the housework he told Emile.After all in Scotland I could wear a kilt.Can you get a denim kilt he wondered.He decided to wear underpants but not to wear Mary’ssilk petticoat.She might get angry with him.
There is a certain logic in wearing a denim skirt as it  much cooler than trousers and allows easy movement.But of course one must wear decent underpants in case the wind blows under it and reveals all.That’s  why women are always buying packs of pants.So Stan was thinking. and he remembered his  old espadrilles which would look good.He stood in front  of the mirror and imagined he looked quite fetching.

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The doorbell rang and on the step was the Vicar of Knittingham South.
Hello,madam, he said pleasantly.
I’m a man,Stan muttered loudly
Yes,dear,of course you are.May I speak to your  husband?
I  am the husband,Stan screeched.
Oh,I see.You are gay then, I assume.
Stan pointed to his beard and said,
I am a man. Didn’t you hear me?
Please forgive me, the Vicar said
Some old ladies get quite hairy and  with the skirt I thought it was rude to mention your beard.How do you find the skirt,by the way?
Well, it’s  very   cool having air on the legs  and it’s definitely  better than shorts.
But a cotton dress would be even better.Are you married?
Yes,said the Vicar but my wife is very intolerant of anything unusual.She’d be furious  if I wore her old  clothes.
My wife doesn’t know,Stan told him.I bet she’d be angry too because  she’d have to iron it again.
Why don’t you wash and iron it before she comes home, the Vicar demanded.
Well, just between the  two  of us I am afraid of  soap powder, irons,telephones, sprouts and   making a mistake in a recipe.Also  eye tests ,blue litmus paper ,Andrex and crisps
I’m afraid of dentists,fogs , bricks.Art,dogs and sausages the Vicar admitted.And doctors and fierce women who swear at me in the dark.
The two men stood  pondering.Are they tarts angry with not getting aby notice from the dear old Vicar.After all Jesus mixed with them.
Come inside, said Stan after a few minutes.Let’s have a coffee.
They sat on the patio drinking  their coffee and saw a wren fly past into the weigelia.
That’s the first I’ve seen recently.said Stan.
Emile was asleep  again,this time in a woven  willow   bucket in the kitchen.
Anyway,why did you call,Stan asked the Vicar.We never got to that.
I can’t remember, the dear old man admitted.I’ll have to come back tonight.
Oh,dear Stan said
I think I’d better put some trousers on, he whispered
Yes,you had said Emile.I can see the Bishop outside.
We’ll have to move,cried Stan.
And so say all of us.
For he’s a hollow bowl  mellow.
Why not pray for us?