I’m certainly tempestuous

He sometimes seemed cantankerous
Yet he carefully looked after us
He bathed us by the hot coal fire
But for all you know I am a liar
I’m certainly tempestuous

He had an even temperature
Of that I am almost sure
We did not use thermometers
The doctor stuck one up of us
Which showed us life must be endured

He was good at his arithmetic
He could read and perform tricks
We loved him and we smiled at him
With his dog so clean and trim
Alas we weren’t allowed to lick

He liked the sand at Morecambe Bay
And said he’d like to sink right there
Very economical
No need to hold a funeral
And that is all I wish to say